Can I stay free of other peoples points of views and beliefs?
Old and brittle? Time to give up?
For the first time in 8 years I have been hitting the slopes of Kicking Horse. A steep mountain, fairly quiet but with a gondola from bottom to top and a vertical of 4000 ft.
I have had 2 days in Scotland in that time but it doesnt equate to out here and the amount of turns required to descend.
I started off on skis then discovered boarding and fell in love with it. Over the years I have gone on skis just to see, but after half a day want to get back on my board.
I had not realised it was that long since I had spent time on the Mountains. Asking one of my clients one day what there favourite thing to do was, I realised that I had not been doing mine for 8 years.
Life got in the way.
During the summer I booked a one way flight out, my sister bought me my ski pass and I am off and running for another beloved season in the snow.
I know my fitness level is not up to speed for 6 hours boarding a day.
I also know my nerve will not be what it was, dont use it, lose it.
My delightful bro gave me money for a physio for my Xmas, he was laughing at the thought of how stiff I was going to be. These particular muscles had not done this for 8 years. Hmmmmm.
So I go up, with that slight trepidation can I still do this?
I soon realised I had lost a bit of my nerve. The things that bother you when you are learning came up again.
Getting off lifts, runs that look much steeper than you would like them too and that hard noise from other boarders and skiers that says ice.
Then going too fast and knowing you are out of control, and the mind bringing in fear, then leaning back and causing yourcellf to fall.
But my mind has come up with some new shit.
I spend my life telling my clients not to listen to other peoples negative perceptions, points of view as they filter their fear through the past and their conditioning.
Here's me listening to my mind saying “what if your bones are brittle!?
You are in that category. What if you break something. What if you really hurt yourcellf. Maybe you should go back to skiing, no one else your age is on a board and when you fall you can hurt your neck and back.
SERIOUSLY. This is the shit my mind was saying.
Then......... I am coming up on the Gondola chatting to this couple about my age.
He asks me what do I do for health care. (This was another thing my mind was banging on about because up until a few days ago I never had any, but now I do because of the mind and other peoples beliefs, its easier to have it.)
So I tell this man I have private medical insurance, which is not true, but I would have told him that anyway.
He then asks but what do they do to you if something big happens.
Im wondering what something big is.
He then adds in, would they send you home or would they keep you here.
Holy shit, this is not a conversation any young person would dream up.
I answer honestly, I have no idea.
But it gets me thinking. What is something “big”.
Obviously if I was in a terrible accident that rendered my paralysed or something, or a stroke or a heart attack these are the only things I would need to go to hospital for, or appendix maybe.
Then I get mad at mycellf for thinking down that line.
I bought the dam insurance, I am planning to get fitter, stronger and braver everyday as I return to full fitness and confidence and I do not want my mind going in the direction of injury.
A friend of mine who had been diagnosed with cancer and told it was in her bones is currently in the Alps and she had been doing the same thing as me, except she was not thinking about osteoporosis but cancer making her bones weak. Actually hilarious we were both thinking about it at the same time, different place same shit.
When my sister saw me on top of the roof on my nephews GT sledge, she said dont get injured at the start of the season.
I have been skiing since I was 23.
100 of us from Kintyre used to go on a plane every year to the Alps.
We NEVER talked about getting injured.
We did so many stupid things, stayed up all night, drank, partied, skied again 6 days in a row of this and none of us got injured on the slopes.
A few did at night on the way home doing daft things, but nothing major on the slopes.
But now I do know a few of my family and friends who have been injured on the mountain.
Hips, shoulders, backs, its crept into my awareness.
Not good, I want to be carefree on the Mountain, letting go of any idea of getting hurt.
Your skis and board are a great indicator of how you live your life.
Do you lean back trying to slow down, do you drive the edge in with confidence and strength, do you face the fall line fearlessly and do you let go and stand on top of your board/skis loving the speed?
When you take control, ride it out, face the lines, dig your edge in, know the snow condition, understand what is round the corner, that is when you get the most amazing buzz.
When you worry about getting hurt, lean back, pussy around with your carves and turns, unsure of the bumps and corners that's when you fall and that's when you use up precious energy, just like life, trying to second guess, allowing the mind to ruin the moment.
8 years ago I got the biggest compliment from this guy, he said wow your board like a 19 year old.
I can still do that, I am perfectly aware, I just need to let go.
I allow mycellf to board like a 19 year old
I am releasing all fear of falling and injury
I am fearless
I am in the flow
I am letting go of others points of view and limiting beliefs
I allow mycellf to trust
Aging is a concept.
For sure there is molecular decay and gravity but the spirit can remain the same when we release all fear and concepts from the past.
Taking on other peoples limitations is hugely unhelpful, but it takes guts to challenge and decide their way is not for you.
Would it be easier for me to stay off the mountain and get old gracefully, yes.
But I am not going to, I will be as fit and fearless as I was 8 years ago and beyond.
I had an amazing day yesterday in 15cms of powder snow, what a fab way to start your day in the most spectacular scenery.
I did fall but so what, if you are not falling you are not trying.
Push the boundaries.
Take the risks.
Feel alive, your cells love it.
Old is an attitude, it aint happening here, not for now anyway.