What is the body doing, who and what do you believe? How can you stay in FAITH when all apparent evidence is pointing to fear.
What a rollercoaster this journey has been and is. It was only 7 months ago that I met this firecracker but boy does it seem like a lifetime of experiences and emotions.
Recap on her history, 2 operations, 2 chemotherapies and 1 radiation for stage 4 ovarian cancer. Admitted to Mount Carmel (asylum) due to major sensitivity to chemotherapies and put on 4 different drugs for depression and psychosis.
The only option, from the allopathic perspective, was more of the same a 3rd chemo, another large operation to remove more of her intestines and maybe organ parts. Going to the UK for “special chemo” and to see if the surgeon there would undertake the operation, if he felt it would be humane and worthwhile.
To try something a third time that had not worked the first two seemed strange to me. I told her if she was my daughter I would suggest Gerson, at least try it for 6 weeks to see how it feels, then take it from there
I then offered her a room at my place to help her through the detox. We then discussed blogging the journey, and whether we should "wait" until she healed or do it in real time. We both felt it would be more powerful in real time, so went ahead and started making videos and blogs.
My neck and reputation I knew I was putting my neck on the line. Putting mycellf up for potential judgement and criticism. I just knew, hand on heart, if it was one of my kids, that is what I would recommend. But taking a total stranger into your home? First of all I am not the most tolerant person in the World, and I did not know her from Adam. From that perspective it was completely illogical. Secondly, what if she died? What would that mean for me? Was I seriously not going to help her because of fear of approval from others? I felt we had to try, it felt right, it was meant to be. I also thought, if she was my blood daughter, I would want quality for her, for however long she had left, and that we could journey with this sick body and learn from it, priceless, life giving information.
People asked her "who is she"? What are her qualifications? That place is not a certified clinic (Wardija)
Even when I started the gofundme someone suggested to her that I might keep the money. She has also been criticized for "travelling", a visit to Spain and Scotland to keep her spirits up. This is just part of stepping out and trying to do something that most others would never consider doing. Prepare to be judged. Prepare for the oppression. And follow your heart. That is what I did.
Sabrina jumped at the idea, she did not want chemo, had never wanted it, but had never felt supported to try any other options. From my perspective it is never about "not dying". I can never promise what is going to happen in someones life, even if they follow the protocols to the letter. Things can go terribly wrong, or right, I don't get to decide. The Allopathic system cannot guarantee anything either, but we accept that. For me it's about living without fear. Choosing and being part of your healing and your life journey. Discovering what we can, allowing the body a chance, trusting. We know when we let go of our fear of death often we heal. I find that slightly ironic. But boy can fear grip, surrender can be impossible to some.
Week 1 After a brutal week of detoxing she came back to life, and over the next 2 months felt better than she had in years. Most days I made all her juice for her, so all she had to do was drink it. She resisted that a bit too, but I hardballed her and educated her on the process as we went along. She soon stopped complaining and started enjoying the juice. Make no mistake Gerson is a hard diet to follow. gerson.org/gerpress/ Life without the Maltese Ftira had begun. But it works, how much do you want to live? She then did my Immersion Retreat, participated in the entire programme and had a real breakthrough on the emotional stuff, it was brilliant to watch. The first time we talked she thought life without a ftira (white Maltese bread) would not be worth living, now she was dancing and laughing, like a new person. I left Malta at the beginning of November and she moved back home, and was left to her own devices.
Holistic perspective The holistic model looks at physical, emotional and spiritual health. The allopathic looks at symptoms and tries to eliminate them with drugs and surgery. Totally opposing ways of dealing with the body. One from the old Newtonian physics, one from the new understanding of quantum physics. Sometimes you need both. Most of my clients combine treatments, you need to do what you believe will make you well again. Every single one of us is different, and everyone who has defied the odds has done it in a different way. You have to work with the belief system and perspective that you are in. This will change and evolve during your healing journey, but it is a fully personal journey. It can be very difficult to listen to your intuition when everyone is shouting at you to follow theirs. By the end of the year she felt she needed to do more, was struggling on her own so I set up a go fund me to help her find the external support she so desperately needed.
Budwig and Gerson Sabrina wanted to go to Gerson in Hungary in January. She applied, got all the tests sent to them, then called me very angry and disappointed that they had rejected her. She had put a lot of store in this. I had told her if they said no it was because there was another, better way for her to heal. But she was determined to go somewhere in January and was very stressed with the news.
When I read the letter from Gerson, some days later, they had not rejected her. They wanted to get her over for the day, do a series of tests, teach her the protocol then get her back in 3 months for the full detox programme. They were concerned that her elimination organs would be compromised, which made complete sense to me, but hot headed Latina had other ideas. Gerson seemed to have made that decision based on the extra stress of the psychiatric drugs she had been on. Drugs she had been told she could never come off, but had, during her time in Wardija. This sent her on another path.
Budwig She then went online and contacted Budwig in Spain. The Sunday she sent the email, the Doctor from there called her personally. She was stoked and organised to go there. He was very positive and her experience there was fantastic. They told her she was more like a stage 1 than 4 and congratulated her on her body and how she was looking and feeling so well. She changed onto the Budwig diet, which has linseed and quark or cottage cheese for rebalancing the gut and started their regime of detox machines, EFT, herbs bachs, remedies and supplements. www.budwigcenter.com/ I wondered how she would be when she got back to the real world again. During her time in Spain her belly got swollen again. I immediately assumed it was the change of diet, I had wondered how it would work for her, but I trusted Sabrinas intuition and that this part of the journey was the right one for her. We know that one of the steps in Kelly Turners book Radical Remissions, is "listening to your intuition." Often that means doing things others may not agree with. We are all filtering through the past, our individual past.
The belly She was given some machines and a protocol to do at home. All based around detoxing and helping the body release toxicity, parasites and bacteria. During the years she had been attending the Doctor before they diagnosed her, she had huge problems with a distended belly. I suspected candida, and sure enough her level was very high. During Gerson her belly reduced and she started to enjoy the new flatter version, but to this day she sees it as her evidence of being well or sick. We spend a lot of time letting go of her judgement of the belly. Not long after she was home her belly was giving her discomfort, Budwig said this is a normal part of the healing and recommended she come off the quark, thinking she could be lactose intolerant. This concerned me a bit, I like a strict structure for healing, no grey areas, I know Budwig has huge success, but again my conditioning did not see cheese as part of a healing diet. When you start deviating from the path, you don't know where you really are, whether the protocol is working, and you can lose your way. Anyway they were now taking responsibility for her nutrition, something I was happy to hand over. Every radical remission had a different diet, but the main things were no wheat, no sweet, no meat and no dairy. I am sure there are people who are healed who have deviated from this, it is impossible to measure the impact our feelings and beliefs are having on our chemistry too. But find a plan and stick to it. Charlotte Gerson is adamant and forcefull about this too. And it can take time, a lot of it, over 2 years in some cases. Anyone who has been on any kind of diet will know, you cannot start cheating, it all falls apart.
My beliefs and programming I am aware I am programmed and trained to think that Gerson is the way for serious cancers, so I am very aware of putting my concepts, that may or may not be true, on others. I fully understand 1 diet does not fit all, I personally liked Nicholas Gonzalez work, he had 10 different diets ranging from raw vegan to ketogenic. You need a diet that works, but you also need a diet you can do.
Enter Joe Dispenenza - ALCHEMY AND OUR INTERNAL POWER
In July 2016 about 3 months before meeting Sabrina I discovered the work of Dr Joe Dispenza. He introduced me and most of my close circle of friends to the concept of healing by thought alone.
When we change the frequency of our brains, our electromagnetic field, our thinking and emotions, we can heal. Our bodies are light and information. Disease is a darkening and a lowering of frequency. Healing is raising the vibration and letting in more light. We have the power to release the past and change the information in the body. We all have this power within, but most of us do not all have the skill yet. You need to practise, you need to break the old habits of being yourcellf. This takes incredible discipline, will, practice, repetition and most of all FAITH. If you do not believe you can do it you will not go to the bother of learning. What Joe does is gives us the science, the measurements, and brings the people on stage who have already done it. One women healed stage 4 ovarian with her mind alone. No change in diet, but she went into meditation 6 hours a day. She changed the chemistry and frequency in her body, and it healed. We all have the power to do this. Joe has thousands of these stories now.
Common people doing the uncommon thing I know our DNA is affected by our beliefs, have known that for years. Dr Bruce Lipton wrote Biology of Belief years ago and has been trying to get the fact out that we are the Master not the victim of our genes. We are operating from outdated science, Greg Braden also bangs on about that. www.youtube.com/watch?v=-t1hGosvUus What I did not fully realise is that we can overide the chemistry of food, exercise, the past, disease and all abuses with the power of our minds. I knew conceptually that you could expand at a cellular level and release the past, the past that drowns and depresses our immune system. What I did not know was that someone was teaching how to do it, measuring it, and repeating it, every single workshop. Imagine how exciting that was for me? When we learn how to transmute energy, pilot our pineal and pituatiry glands, we can overide all old programmes and heal anything and everything.
The Church Another strange thing that happened was I ended up doing a church course on emotional baggage with a friend of my sisters. The information is identical to Dr Joes, he just uses different language. The Quantum Field becomes God. www.impactministries.com/about-jim/ The labels and words are irrelevant to me, I can choose to believe its a coincidence or a very large, important message coming my way, to help me and my clients.
Hospitalised Sabrinas belly became large, uncomfortable and distended. Budwig said it was normal and to stick to the protocol, the body was healing. The allopathic Doctors said it was a progression of the disease and offered palliative care. Interestingly enough my body was doing something similar. Not fluid retention, but discomfort, aches, I knew something was going on, I joked with her to sort her belly out and I was sure mine would balance too. But eventually it became too much for her and she decided to go private to get some advice. She wanted a Doctor who did not know her story and could maybe help without the fear. She did not want to go back to the old oncologist who was so certain that she would die, and had described how it would happen. She saw a really nice doctor, very kind and sympathetic, who told her they could help by draining the fluid.
Money However they wanted over 1 thousand euros for the job and she new she could get for free on the NHS. She said she heard my voice saying “Goddess up” and she faced her fears and went back to the original free hospital. Where she knew that the language they would use would scare her. She explained the situation, told them she did not want them to tell her she was dying, she did not want any tests, she just needed some relief from the fluid that had gathered in her belly.
The nursing staff were amazing, telling her how well she had done and that most people that had her operation were dead within 6 months. But they were super kind, interested and humane. They drained 5 litres of fluid off her belly and did more tests, but she said she wanted no more results. No more bad news, heavy words, terrifying points of view, fear is useless and damaging when you are weak.
She was miserable in hospital and desperate to get out, thinking that she would feel better the next day...... But the body has just had a massive trauma, so patience is essential here, our Sabrina does not have much of this. They warned her that the fluid could build again, but that it could balance out. Since then she has gradually got more and more miserable. The fluid has gathered again.
What to do? I suggested acupuncture. I posted on facebook asking for recommendations, Sabrina chose the first one, because he was a Doctor. Big mistake. He asked her who recommended her to come? She said me! He said don't listen to her, she is not a doctor, you should go to the hospital and get chemo. Sabrina was laughing as she told me, she hot footed it out of there and off back to the hospital. Hmmmm another interesting chapter for the book and movie.
Hospital They put her on a drip with some nutrition and she is feeling better than she has for weeks. She told me "my body is in hospital . my mind and heart and spirit are in the sun 3 vs 1 so that means I'm not truly here." She feels safe there and that makes me happy. One common misunderstanding most people make is that I am against everything allopathic. She said to me "I have done something you will not like". I said whats that? She said "I had a scan." I thought if a scan makes you feel better then do one. No judgement there from me, personal choices all the way. People love tests, I personally don't. But they have helped me in the past, never say never. And because I have been off the mountain with pain the last 2 weeks, I was pressured big time by everyone around me to go and get tests. But I knew my body would heal itself. But boy did the pressure mount as "days" went by. Impatience by everyone, are you better yet? You should go see a doctor. They know more than you. Then my 2 brothers got in on the act, saying how much happier they would be if I went to a doc. Now I am not stupid, and if I thought a doc would have helped me to heal, or if the pain was too much for me, I would have been at the doc in a heartbeat. I would take drugs to see me through if I believed I needed it. But I knew I didn't. I knew the body would heal itself. I went deep into my meditations, then had some acupuncture, and its much better now. My choice, my intuition, my understanding, back off. But imagine I was diagnosed terminal, how would that pressure have got to me. How would my faith have stood the force of others? Belittling my understandings because I am not a doctor. Very interesting situation.
Fear versus FAITH Our only fear of the hospital is that they use the language and say the things that induce fear. Cortisol and adrenaline are not needed at this point. And this is a scientific fact, so I have no idea why we still do this. She was offered catholic "bread" I am not really sure what that means, they also offered for her to see a minister. A nurse told her he was "cute" so she agreed. Plus she said it could be a good way of letting go, which is ultimately confessing and forgiving. We laughed last night as she told me that she was a sinner and he was not cute and did not really approve of that fact that she swore at God and hoped he was deaf because of the things she had been saying. Since studying with Dr Joe I have a completely different view of the body, healing, death and time. This is a very personal thing, but it has been a game changer for me. It allows me to "see" things very differently. I know from my life experience and from Dr Kelly Turners book Radical Remissions, that it is NEVER over until the fat lady sings. And even then Anita Moorjani came back and allowed her sick body to heal. www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhcJNJbRJ6U Faith. Faith even when all the Doctors point you to fear? Has my faith been challenged? Yes? Have I got caught up on the fear of others? Yes. Have I wavered and wondered if she can heal? Actually no. Faith heals and so does prayer. Please pray for her, for all of us who love this crazy, brave girl and are asking for the miracle. Or is it a miracle or a process, that each one of us can engage with? We are all entangled in this energy Field, and we can pull each other down or help each other up. Our words, thoughts, feelings, perceptions, beliefs, intentions and attention are creating our reality. Where we put our focus and attention is what we will get. But if we are weak and unable to hold that, we need others to support and help us. This is why we need to change the way we see disease and healing. Faith heals, let's all stay in it. She is back home now, they refused to drain the fluid again, Budwig have told her its normal so she is now looking for natural ways to assist the body again. What a shame they can not help with that in hospital.......one day! Please put her in your prayers, meditation and keep supporting her with your messages and word. It is priceless, thank you.