Food fear and fear in general

Feel the fear and do it anyway

I decided to make a diversion to my orignial plans, to save me having to go in and out a city I really had no interest in visiting anyway, it was time for the beach. That meant that I was going to end up in a place called Esmeraldas, I reckoned I could get there in daylight, simply because everything you read said, don't go there, its dangerous.

As the journey stretched out it became obvious I was not going to arrive till well after dark. I tried to get on the internet on the bus to book accommodation so that I knew exactly wheere I was going when I arrived. There were 2 young hot guys in the seat infront, I asked if they could help me with the wifi password, turns out they played in a salsa band, clearly had been up all night, spoke a bit of English and were super friendly and helped me out. They were from Venezuela, had moved to Santa Domingo because of the problems in there Country. It is so interesting and I believe important to meet other people from the Countries you hear are dangerous and to get their take on it.

The border crossing from Colombia to Ecuador had been jammed with crazy line ups, some people taking 16 hours to get through, and you look at the people, primarly Venezualan, and wonder what they have left behind, what has happened to them, seeing them right there in the flesh brings it home to you, again, how lucky we are to live in relative peace.

Anyway I cannot get the internet to work, even with a translator to help. So my mind gets going. I try tapping into my intuition to see if there is anything to be scared about or if I am just picking up on everything I have read and been told.

It is actually quite tiring and boring how often you get told to be safe, about the dangerous thieves and people, plus it can change how you look at people, which is really unfair, tarring them all with the same brush.
We all have good and bad in us, I am continually looking for the good here, and seeing it a lot too, I understand quantum physics and our power to find what we are looking for, positive or negative.

Amazing, optimistic, loving, kind, generous people with the odd thief here and there. Like the local person who stole my birkies off the beach yesterday. Now I am looking at everyones feet as they walk along, because these sandals were rad, and no one else here will have them.
Anyway I have released the rage, and the learning of how to say “did you steal my fucking sandals” in Spanish. I hope they love them as much as I did, I trust they have gone to a good home.

We pull into a big bus station and I manage to get internet long enough there to book a hotel in Esmeraldas. I feel a bit relieved, now when the taxidrivers come towards me I at least know where I am going.
I get there about 9.30pm and barter with a driver, he agrees to take me to the hotel, on the coast, about half an hour away, for 8 dollars.
We get to the vaccinity and he want to pap me out, but I learned from that mistake in Ipieles, take me right to the door or I stay in the cab. He is not happy, does not know where the hotel is, but either do I and I have no phone or internet now. I get the number for him and he calls, we were pretty close so he dropped me off and I got in safely for the night.
Cute wee Hotel with a pool in the garden, nice room, fair brekkie and near the beach.

​I wake up at 7am desperate to get to the sea, and as I am heading out with my phone to take pics, the owner comes after me and tells me to hide it. 
Great. 
​But he was actually looking after me.
Later on I am going to catch my bus to Mompiche, the owner takes his car out and takes me to the bus stop. Another gesture of kindness.
Im standing at the bus stop and this guy rocks up. Starts to chat, my best sentence now is I dont speak Spanish, that is my get out of jail free card. I do understand a bit, but when they speak fast, I am lost.
Then he buys me an ice lolly. Aww how nice as it is very hot. I look at the label horrified. But dont want to offend him, but I can clearly see the list of additives on the packet, arghhhh my cells contract lol.

Not for the first time this trip, I ate non food, willing my body to move it through and let it go.
He managed to explain to me he was one of the people who jump on and off the buses selling things.
He got on the bus that I was on. I then felt obliged to buy the thing he was selling. Fat free, sugar free and something else free wtf! It was a butterfly........
There are a ton of sweetie shops and things here, I saw about 15 stands all in a row in one village all selling exact same sweetie things. All beautifully laid out, I am not sure what the diabetes rate is here, but the additives are bonkers. I watched a guy in a previous hostel eat fluorescent pink yoghurt.
​
My food fear continues, need to do more tapping.