For some reason today I have been wanting to cheat.
I drove from Glasgow this morning and they have a Starbucks beside the petrol station I usually stop at now.
I love their coffee.
I used to drink it when I lived in Whistler, some of the happiest days of my life so it has a big emotional hook.
I don't often go there as I would prefer to buy coffee from a one man band but on occasion, especially early doors, it helps my run down the road.
I never stopped but when I got home the voice in my head was convincing.
I am doing Lent for health, not to prove something. 1 coffee makes no difference to anything, in the grand scheme of things it will make zero difference.
But I decided to go without, so its a thing now, I said I wont do it so I wont. Or will I?
4 weeks without and it has been fairly easy, why today? Well it's friday, it's the weekend, I am babysitting I deserve a wee treat......aye right, all the bollocks and crazy beliefs that we have that keep us stuck.
What we describe as a wee treat, is usually the complete opposite for the body. But I watched a great video today and the guy was saying it's all about the level of consciousness in your reasoning. The example he gave was the waiter offers you a paired wine to go with your meal and you think, sounds lovely, it will enhance the meal, why not try it and see if you like it.
That thinking comes from a healthy curiousity and will likely lead you to an interesting fun experience.
Or, you tell the waiter how much you need the glass of wine because you have had such a terrible day you deserve it.
That comes from a place of suppression and avoidance.
So let's take my coffee chat. I deserve it, it's the weekend, it's a wee treat instead of straightforward I love the smell and the taste and it makes me feel good.
I made a delicious fish curry and thought I would love a chapati with this. I feel so much better avoiding bread too but tonight I was defo wanting a coffee or a carb.
Interesting old time this, seeing what comes up, what you "fancy" and all the reasons to break your own code and have it. The rocky road, you have to be totally strict or you, I mean I would go off the rails and not give the body the well deserved rest that it needs.
I make these delicious omega 3 balls made with coconut, seeds, nuts and figs, but Nicky ate the last one.......
Anyway it's all good I just had another plate of the fish curry and now I am happy and nearly ready for bed.
Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Let me do some tapping on the belief that I need a treat that is not a treat :)