Not an easy mission it turns out, haha or is that bo-hoo.
WFT did I sign up to? An out the blue opportunity to go away and spend 3 months to see if I could be better, healthier. ‘Heal yourself! Let go of the old patterns of pain and dramas.
A 3 month intensive healing retreat deep in the heart of Scotland’s ancient Kilmartin Glen Lands. A pilot programme opportunity using all my fav writers, scientists, nutritionists, speakers, innovators, in their specific fields for well over twenty years and here was an opportunity to steep in it and see if after 40 years of working on myself I could at last make a breakthrough. Possibly at age 63 the last change by hearing those influenced by my favs!
I feel I’ve been stuck for many years after reading all, researching this, trying that and the other new ways of healing, being, releasing and although many helped and I trained and practiced a few therapies, I stopped since my second son was born and other physical and emotional infringements gathered momentum. I feel I gave up on any real change from where I was and really had consigned myself to old age and limiting mobility, no money for eating out, treats and holidays. Being on benefits was the way it was and is.
So after a message of an opportunity to go and 4/5 days to get ready/cancel all I was doing. Volunteering at Galgael Glasgow and local hospice charity shop, plus my constant sanity of Philosophy Class once a week for past 6/7 years. All had to be dropped to go.
What can I say now we’re 7 weeks, nearly 8 weeks in, apart from ‘This is not an easy mission’, this taking responsibility for our thoughts, words and actions. This being accountable to our own soul for the trickery and distractions we used to justify and validate our perceptions, our reality. How we will fight and kick, huff and puff to hold it tight. How we think we’re sorted and it’s everyone else that has the problems. Our ‘this is just the way I am and nothing much can change that’ or the only if something or somebody will change and everything will be better. What a crock of shit that has turned out to be for not just me but for most of us.
This experience has been intense, amazing, magical, exasperating, hurtful, a bloody nightmare, a beautiful sacred blessing, a Test to the core, a synchronistic, timeless journey that words can’t really express and the knee jerks of living with others are bloody incredible reflections.
If I’d known the extent of buttons it would press I most probably would have said No but then again there’s a strong part of me that’s aware of the world’s dramas and my own and know it’s now time for all of it to be brought out to be addressed and healed.
My history is one of trauma and retreating away to concentrate on bring up my second son as a single parent again and now he’s sailing happily along it’s been time for me to dig down these past few years. So now we’re half way into Heal Scotland Helpyourcell and I’ve not ran away (been very near it many times though) but I have to finish and focus these last 4 weeks on finding my willpower and discipline to leave here with the knowledge needed to make real changes through integrating what we know to be an absolute truth now. That we can alter how we think, feel and act out in our reality. I knew but couldn’t do it by myself it seems. We need support and community back for sure. I’ve know for many years we are infinite and consciousness having our different dimensional experiences and science proves without doubt now that’s trust, but putting it into practice is a different story when our reality is set up to prove the exact opposite (but that’s a different story indeed).
Can I go from this experience with more confidence, strength, compassion, understanding, less stress, clearer mind, more control and less pain, fatigue and discomfort. YES for sure is the answer because I’m already experiencing all of this. Can I make major life changes knowing what I’m integrating and know from scarcity and exclusion, from no real self worth or idea of why I’m here? ‘Yes’ because I already see my worth for the first time in my life.
I’m open minded but although still can’t hold a vision of my magnificence and my creative potential, I’m willing to trust it’s showing it’s face. My face that craves more light now. Who knows really but something is shifting for sure, ‘I feel it in me Water’.
So many stories, so much pain and hurt in our Beautiful Scotland (and everywhere) and yes it’s crucial to be heard but even more so it’s crucial to ditch the repeated patterns of pain, sadness, grief, anger, regret, it onlys and it’s ifs, buts and maybes, from identifying our reality. We are so much more than our PAINS and we have forgot who we really are inside. Ancient Sacred Beings waking up now. Who knows what will happen when we finish here but all I know right now is Lilia Sinclair is one helluva woman and her patience, love, trust, vision and unending focus is astounding to behold and an absolute opportunity and I with all my heart and soul hope she is proven right. ‘We can Heal’ and Scotland could be one glorious inspiration for the rest of the world.
If it can happen with us apathetic but brilliant Scots it can happen anywhere.
Thank you Lilia and Hilary for your support and kindness. I can only hope and trust at the end of this I can live and be the best version of me and help others to ripple it out so that all your incredible hard work can be put into practice.
PS At home my shed is my sanctuary and my compromise here is to have my car here in place of my shed. That’s where I go to have my one joint (small) and listen to my audio book (plus the view without midgies). My me time has been essential for my Scottish compromises of keeping it real and human.
I came across a FB live that Lilia did to promote the Heal Scotland idea in November 2018. I was really taken by her enthusiasm for all the types of protocols that I was already using on my own to help deal with my symptoms of CFS/ME (diagnosed 1991). I knew doctors were not the answer, or any kind of answer for me. I contacted Lilia because I was interested in seeing how I could be involved from an ‘offering help’ point of view and also ‘what am I missing?’.
After decades of ups and downs, slight remissions where I could work or study and had my family, I was at a place of knowing that I was doing a lot of the right things. Yet my energy levels were so low that I didn’t get out of bed from January to March 2019. My aches and pains could no longer be tolerated. However, in myself, I felt like I was in a place of great self understanding after a year of quite intense energy work, regression and work on my ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences). I had found out that my very ‘normal’ upbringing, with no big TRAUMA had actually felt continually unsafe and traumatic from the viewpoint of a 1/2/3/4/5 year old. These patterns of coping set up in my brain at these early stages were a huge part of what was stopping me healing.
I did the taster session of the Wim Hof Method at Loch Lomond on 23 March 2019. It was a fundraiser for Heal Scotland opening weekend. I had a pretty exhiliarting experience but was not 100% convinced it would help me given that I had been practically bed bound, I decided to give it a go anyway. What did I have to lose? For the next week or so I did the breathing and started working up my cold shower time. I even went into the sea twice while at a very chilly Isle of Skye.
I did find it difficult at this point. I was having strong detox reactions and I knew I needed to get back to clean eating and keep up my daily meditations but I was struggling on my own.
I was watching the Heal Scotland pilot group on FaceBook and I knew what I needed most was the support of a community who were on the same track as me. So I contacted Lilia again and she agreed that I could come to stay for the 10 days that I wanted.
My first few days at Barmolloch were interesting. It was a very varied group and everyone had their own issues. However, this was not the focus. These were our old ‘stories’ and we were ready to write new ones! (I was anyway! With Lilia’s help).
I had also missed the part about the scheme where each person had to help out on the organic farm. This terrified me! I had been unable to do anything much at all since the beginning of the year and PEM (post exercisonal malaise) is the hardest symptom of CFS/ME to avoid because it is hard to tell that you are doing too much until after the fact. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to do anything and, worse, that I wouldn’t be able to judge my limitsand do too much. This proved to be a very big learning experience for me, starting out, not being able to say ‘no’ or ‘I’ve done enough’ and causing myself to crash out for hours at a time. By the end of the 10 days I had worked that participating at the pace my body was able to rather than pushing hard to get things done was the way to go and stopping when I needed to and not pushing until the job was done. I also learned that I love planting things, cleaning out a chicken coop is horrible but bearable and collecting your own eggs is totally amazing.
The breathing and cold water got easier every day. The vegan diet was tasty and nutritious. We had various sound based therapists share their skills with us. I found I had a better voice than I thought. Even though I am still far from being a singer, the noise in a group setting is beautiful and the freedom of making noise on your own is releasing. OM!! I picked up various other useful tools. I go to bed by 10pm and up by 6am, avoiding unnatural light sources and my sleep in generally improving. I got advise on making changes to the supplements I was using and we learned lots of relaxation and releasing techniques.
I kept up a good regime when I got home and a few weeks later I had lost 5kg, managing to drive myself for my daily dook, went to the supermarket on my own and now I can drive longer distances and have a couple of hours in the day where I am actually OK!
I still have a long way to go! I noticed that if I slip out of routine or miss the cold water then my pain and fatigue gets much worse. So I decided that I will just do it every day.
It really has taken doing everything, every day to get this far and this has been done from a place of peace and compassion. Pushing is not the way for me to heal.
I am enough. I accept myself 100%. I am a peace-centred warrior!
Thank you Lilia, Hilary, Helen, Stewart and all the other amazing contributors.
Up a long and winding glen, in the wilds of Argyll, where few people ever venture, an experiment is taking place. It’s a human experiment – a band of courageous beings have come together on a biodynamic farm for 12 weeks to see if it is possible to heal themselves (spoiler alert – it is possible!). With just the help of one truly phenomenal woman who has a vision for a healed Scotland (and beyond) – Lilia Letigo Sinclair and a beautiful couple – Helen and Stewart Wright - who have created and hold the a truly magical space for our healing to take place.
We’re almost 8 weeks in and it’s been an interesting journey so far. For me it’s been a bit like a cross between Groundhog Day and Big Brother. Each day there are new insights into how we can become better, healthier and happier human beings. We have cameras (look out for the documentary), we are living together in confined spaces, cut off for the most part from goings on in the outside world. We are learning how it is possible to heal ourselves from a number of different illnesses and diseases. We’ve discovered the magic of letting go, though some of us are still holding on. We’ve endured cold water immersion, some of us daily, some of us less so. We’ve seen improvements in each other and ourselves. We’ve been told that unless we feel in a headspace where we can make love to the soil, we shouldn’t be working on the land. We’ve let go of our need for technology, some more than others. We’re seeing the power of gratitude, of being thankful for this truly amazing opportunity. We’re raising our frequency to a higher level and moving into a space of acceptance and peace. We’re humming our way to a higher vibration, singing from our souls and evolving away from a world that no longer serves us to a world of possibilities and magic. We’re rediscovering so many things that we’d forgotten, reconnecting with what’s important, disconnecting from what we used to think was important and realizing that we are woven right through the fabric of the universe just as it is woven through us.
It’s a slow, gradual process. The days pass slowly yet the weeks are whizzing by. I often wonder where I will go, what I will do, who will I become when my time here is done but for now I’m living in the moment, enjoying the sunshine, fresh air and biodynamic veggies. I’m also loving learning more about myself and my place in this world, how my thoughts impact every aspect of my being, how other people and their shit are the best teachers in recognizing what I need to heal, showing me what I need to look at inside myself. Healing is not an easy process, nor is it linear, it can be messy and is often uncomfortable, sometimes very uncomfortable. Be prepared to have tears and snot running down your face or find yourself yelling at someone out of nowhere. Then when you think you’ve made headway and you’re feeling better - wham, something else pops up which sends you staggering 10 feet backwards - but there is a wisdom in the backwards steps that we would never discover if we didn’t experience the pain.
There is magic in healing and discovering the inner world of ourselves that we’ve ignored, suppressed and been fearful of for so long. It is hard looking at parts of ourselves that are difficult to look at, having conversations we don’t want to have, being truthful when it would be easier to lie, but once you let go and get a taste of the bliss on the other side of the pain, you wonder why you didn’t just let go years ago. It also gets easier to work through your shit when it comes up next time round, and it will keep coming up, we can’t escape it, it’s part of the deal of being human, but our experience here in the wilds of Scotland is putting us in a good position to deal better with it when it does happens!
I think we are underestimating the power of what we are doing here, it’s a gradual process and often I don’t recognize that I have changed until I’m in a similar situation where previously I would have reacted from a place of anger or fear and now, automatically, I’m reacting from a place of love or acceptance. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t come from this space every time, but I’m getting better at not getting upset or angry with other people’s actions and becoming much more aware of the impact that my words, actions, moods and emotions may have on both myself and others.
I feel truly blessed to be part of this ‘experiment’, to be spending time with amazing people in a beautiful location and very excited to see where this vision takes us once the 12 weeks are over.
Heal Scotland, Barmolloch, Kilmichael Glen
I came to the Saturday taster and again on Sunday taster. Two days that began the rest of my life, I have been coming to Heal Scotland seven days a week for seven weeks ever since with five more weeks to go.
I had just moved to Cairnbaan, Lochgilphead for my health. Enjoying slower pace, the canal yards from my door, life had taken a very different turn.
Never did I dream or think in a few short months it would turn around completely as I embraced Lilia Letigo Sinclair’s Heal Scotland – 12 weeks immersed in wonderful therapies, Lilia’s vegetarian, detoxing diet, Wim Hof Breathing technique, rewiring the brain, ???? profound deep meditations challenging out of date beliefs I held. Could I let go? For my health’s sake I had to! Questionning issues held. Could I let go?
Questionning choices, small choices, big choices, choices so powerful was I terrified to make a decision? I was overwhelmed? Lilia had techniques, choice of words, the right words – blame – no longer serves; deserve this? – is that true? Entitled to? Lilia had other techniques.
Instead I could choose to reset my circadian clock, getting up after a good nights sleep and bless the day. This day of my life nothing will ever come agin! A brand new day every day.
The big choice is ‘letting go’, allowing healing energy in empowering myself to be the best I could be. How could I resist?
The best me I can be?
To fulfill the prophecy I join the Heal Scotland movement every morning at 7.00am.
7.00 – 8.30am Wim Hof power breating
Then some go in the river beside the farm. I have been immersed several times but plan more.
Fresh juices made by Lilia
10 – 12 On the land giving back to Stewart and Helen Wright who so generously have made the farm available to us.
Lunch of Lilia’s soup, usually two soups. We’re greedy, certainly I am.
6.00pm Wonderful vegetarian detoxing food. I have magically with my greed lost almost 15lbs. Sometimes we have videos or meditations on different healing techniques in the evenings.
I am totally committed to this wonder gift that Lilia has brought to our group and though not a joiner of groups I can’t believe my luck at finding and being included in this miracle occurring daily.
We are certainly an interesting mix of people but there are techniques for that too
For 4 decades I have been fascinated by health and by motivation. A fitness instructor since I was 20 with an innate knowing about nutrition, and understanding that we can impact our health and happiness, but no real understanding of why I would go down this road, there is no obvious reason.
Being in a salon, washing hair and listening to women for 50 years now, I have observed every kind of personality, life paths, worries and ideas. Watching how people deal with their lives is something I do without thinking, its so interesting.
When my aunt was dying of cancer, I was 26, I tried to get her to eat different things, but I was too young and had no idea how hard it was for us to change at that time.
6 years later Jo was diagnosed and once again I observed the way we deal with the body, diagnosis, prognosis, treatment happening to you not with you, then the appointment to appointment waiting for someone to tell you your fate. Watching from the grass outside the hospital as she barely made it through a bone marrow transplant, I hated all of it.
There must be a better way?
Even if these treatments truly are necessary and they maybe for some people, more support and undestanding of the things that we can do to lessen the fear, maximise the healing, and create love and hope for the inner circle.
A drastic prognosis does not only affect the “patient”.
So I ask these 2 questions over and over.
1. Is there a better way, there must be?
2. Why does your immune system let you down like that?
That's been my journey now for decades.
What have I found?
1. We all know what to do, but we don't do it. (including me)
What is that about?
We know the things we do that damage our health, we know the things to do to improve it, it is not the knowledge, its the behaviours, and 95% of them are unconscious programmes ie habits that run without us being fully aware and engaged.
Basically we really have no idea what we are doing in terms of the chemistry we are creating in the body.
We either created the habits and programmes or we inherited them from our peers. We are creatures of habits, and we do not like change or any challenge to our belief systems.
2. Our immune system is not overthrown by one action, but a serious of actions usually over a long period of time. Hippocrates said “Commit enough daily sins against Nature and you will experience disease.”
Challenging the status quo takes energy. In vast amounts. It also takes balls because people will hate and judge you. Nobody likes to have their beliefs challenged, people kill each other because their beliefs clash, still to this day, right now as you read this.
And here's the hilarious part, a belief is just a thought you have had, over and over.
We are clinging to the past like a bunch of limpets, wanting to be reassured by what we believe to be true, when we now fully understand that our reality is subjective, not objective and our body is responding to our perceptions.
We are moving from Victim of the body and idea we are at the fate of chemistry and biology, to the new understanding that we are electro magnetic in Nature.
That turns healing on its head, and gives the power back to you.
Not just the power, but the responsibility too, thats the caveat.
This paradigm is like the change from flat Earth to the Global viewpoint.
We are not solid victims, we are energetic Masters.
Your perception and understanding of this will take time usually, we need to be open, and perhaps want to feel differently about life.
Instead of allowing other people to tell us our fate, we can change our destiny with the power of our minds.
This is a game changer, but it does not usually happen overnight.
Rarely do we see a new idea and embrace it wholeheartedly. Usually we resist, defend our point of view, scream to be right, and often dismiss the new beliefs and ideas out of hand.
This is normal, human and common.
We used to think our body and brains could not change, they just got older and sicker.
NOTHING could be further from the truth.
The crazy thing is if you believe that, then you will go ahead and follow that story.
If you open your mind to a new way to see the body, a much more liberating, exciting, fascinating,hopeful story, everything and anything can change, and your imagination and determination will take you there.
But again there is a caveat.
Its up to you, no other person can do this for you. It is 100% your responsibility, and you may not be ready for that.
I used to think it was all about nutrition and exercise, but the latest quantum physics is showing us that we can overide anything and everything using the incredible power of our minds and hearts.
You can use nutrition for sure, I would for mycellf, but you do not need to.
Moving from the old beliefs around chemistry and biology to the understanding of the energy fields changes everything.
And we have the science to back that. Scientists like Dr Bruce Lipton, Dr Joe Dispenza and researchers like Lynne McTaggart are demonstating healings previously thought to have been impossible.
So what do you do if a scary diagnosis comes to your door?
Do you have a full overview of holistic healing to add to the Dotors solutions of drugs and surgery?
Are you willing to take part in your journey no matter how scared you are?
My cousin, who is like my big sister told me when she was going through treatment that we need to learn all these things before we get sick.
When you are in fear, overwhelmed and terrified of your diagnosis, trying to juggle all the balls in your life, that is not usually the time to embark on an educational degree of holstic understanding of who and what you are.
Often knowing there are other ways can add more stress, more confusion and more fear.
When Jo was dying I asked mycellf why it was so terribly painful to watch?
1.I didn't want her to suffer through the treatments and appointments
2. I didn't want her to die.
I have not got my head round the death thing, I researched and studied and changed my beliefs about it, plus I cannot control it, it is not my job to say how and when it should happen.
I believe now it can be pretty cool, I am excited about what happens next, but not ready to go just yet, still got a lot to learn.
But lets look at the suffering.
But from what I see the suffering is still going on.
I believe a terminal and or incurable prognosis causes PTSD, I am not sure it is ever helpful to the body, and we now have thousands of people defying the odds.
I think it is way beyond time to revise the language we use to describe what the body is doing beyond the pharmaceutical model and its fear based ways.
When scientist discover incredible new, better ways it can take 17 years to get out to you, are you really going to wait for science?
Heal Scotland is an educational Community that will provide 3 levels of support for those who need help healing.
Remember this is not about not dying, it is about being empowered and living everyday without fear.
Feeling joy, faith and freedom from the past, whatever that may be.
Instead of treating the symptoms of the body, learning why your immune systems is down and how you can get it back onto full power.
Our body has recorded everything that we have ever perceived.
We are unable to remember a lot of that, but it still affects our health and happiness. Trauma from the past does not get erased with drugs, but with a genuine understanding of the genius of the body and how we can release, resolve and be free from the past. Inherited or otherwise.
As our consciousness rises we are able to see, hear, feel, sense our inner intelligence much louder than ever before.
Our body is a loving, intelligent, energy field, when you learn to speak and understand its language you will experience untold joy from Source.
Heal Scotland is bringing the latest science to you, for you, for your children and grandchildren.
Learn how to live from Faith instead of Fear.
Learn all the different healing diets, meditations, releasing, dancing, visualisation and exercising ways available.
Whether you want to prevent, heal your body, mind, soul, this Retreat will open you to
empowerment and hope, on a stunning biodynamic farm in Kilmichael Glen.
Dr Kelly Turners 9 steps to defying the odds
Below are the 7 areas we will be teaching and practising at the Community.
Community & Collaboration
Lynne McaTaggarts latest research shows us clearly how community and altruism heals. We are all connected at the quantum level and we affect and infect each other whether we are aware of it or not.
Being part of a strong, loving, supportive community is essential for longevity.
We are one. When we pull together we are exponentially stronger, life gets easier and we have way more fun.
Communal goals and full support to help us achieve them, propels us forward.
Bruce Lipton is also a huge advocate of communities with his research on cellular biology.
Letting Go and the science of change
The latest neuroscience clearly demonstrates our supernatural abilities to heal, create and manifest what we want in life, once we let go of the past.
Dr Joe Dispenza is forging the way in his advanced workshops with real time healing using meditation and letting go. In his words he is seeing things of “biblical proportions”.
Stored negative emotions depresses the immune system, distorts our thinking and daunts our confidence.
To be free from all concepts and labels is the goal, trust and surrender to something higher.
New perception and expanding awareness
The story we have chosen to believe can be unexciting and probably not even true.
Expanding our awareness, realising the illusional nature of reality, how a shift in perception can and will change your world.
We are now learning a new story, a new way to see life, the fact that we live in a multi dimensional Universe with multi dimensional realities and even the scientific community are agreeing now.
But our systems are still based in the old doctrine.
We need to understand the quantum world in order for us to realise our potential and our
Altruism & giving back
Heart math have measured that we have a stronger resonance when we give rather than get. In our I want, I want culture, a culture of sickness, could this be adding to the stress for our bodies?
We are social beings designed to live together and look after each other. We cannot truly be happy when others are suffering so much, our soul feels this.
Lynne, Bruce, Greg and Joe have all recorded the enormous benefits of altruism.
Passion and Purpose
When you do something you love, you can lose yourcellf for hours. Your body gets peace because there is not stress hormones getting pumped through it, no monkey mind to cause contraction and discomfort
Taking time to find the things you love, follow your heart and take steps out of your comfort zone sets your soul alight and you move into alignment with your life purpose.
You know it because you feel it, and only you can do it.
Life becomes effortless, you are quite literally in da flow.
In the Community we will focus on the following
Sense of Humour
One of our major health strengths in Scotland is our sense of humour.
Laughing instantly boosts your energy, but most of us lose that carefree attitude as we get older.
When we are with our friends and just laughing this is one of the most important activities you can
do, the body loves it and gets all the feel good love chemicals.
Faith, Trust & Surrender
Understanding that healing is a possibility, a potential in everyones field.
Educating yourcellf on how others have done it and learning how to trust the body as it moves you
towards the people and protocols that can help you heal.
How to live a life in joy and faith rather than fear and stress.
A new story, for healing, for purpose and for each one of us.
If you would love to “start again” rewiring and firing your brain for more vitality, health, joy, love, abundance in anything you choose, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
If 80% of our disease is fixable and preventable then lets get on it.
Think of what that would mean to the Doctors and Hospitals that are overburdened and worked.
There are literally an infinite number of ways to heal, some thing we can measure, others we maybe never will.
Our thoughts, emotions, past, beliefs and perceptions are all affecting our energy field. You can measure what people eat, but not what they think or perceive when they are eating. This changes the chemistry and the field around us. Never taken into account in the Western World.
We are intelligent emotional beings who know how we feel, but we have lost our trust.
Maybe this journey here is about that?
No matter what happens out there, we can choose Faith.
Imagine a life without Fear?
We together can change the suffering levels of our Scottish Community, we know what needs to be done, now we have to take that knowledge through to action and change it.
Learning the new way to see the body is the beginning.
Education for transformation, then practise and repetition along with a strong, altruistic team of believers.
Thats Heal Scotland.
Henry Ford said it “ Whether you think you can or cannot, you are right”.
Newsflash - we are seeded from stars
Are you ready for a massive shift in perception?
We did not evolve from apes?
Maybe pretty much everything we have believed is not true, that our history is way more exciting than we could ever imagine.
Or are your cells contracting and your mind resisting this thought?
Let me go back to Ecuador and my ayahuasca experience.
I met a Shaman there and he guided me to a new story, very gently, very wisely, but I was still a bit turned upside down.
I am not going to go into what the new story is as you will probably stop reading right now, but I felt initial resistance along with a sense of fascination and wonder at the “what if?”
What if we arrived here on a mission, and every single special, amazing one of us had a purpose?
Then I volunteered on a biodynamic farm isolated in the Mountains of Southern Ecuador, spectacular place to be and what do you suppose happened there? I met a guy who had lived with the Kogi tribe in Northern Columbia, and guess what, their story was different too, the same as the one from the Shaman. Im intrigued, you can watch the documentary on them here. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq0kWs1q3hI
Then I leave S America to fly up to Vancouver Island for the Science and Spirituality Conference.
And you guessed it, they were all talking about it, the new story.
Dr Bruce Lipton, Dr Joe Dispenza, Greg Braden, Lynne MacTaggart and Lee Carroll.
Now I'm spooked, but also now I'm a bit used to the idea, also I am more excited about it than scared.
As someone who teaches people to let go of their personal story I was amazed I had not truly thought to question where I had come from, what story did I believe about that?
We now understand that Darwin and Newton opened up ideas that are now proven to be false.
Sadly we are still functioning from their beliefs and it is causing us untold harm.
Would people take their lives if they had a more empowering, purposeful story?
Would we dream of destroying our Planet if we undestood she is a sentient being like us?
Would we compete, disrespect, lie, betray and kill each other if we realised the interconnectedness that ties everything in the Universe together?
Would we work in jobs we hate, with people who drive us insane to pay a corrupt government full of egotistical maniacs.
This is worth visiting dont your think?
Could this new story stop the slow destruction of our species and that of all the other beings on Earth?
I will leave the global story to Greg, Bruce and Lee, they are the experts, they are the witnesses to the evidence and information and they are the bright shining lights bringing it through for us.
My interest is the body, our health, our suffering.
How does this new information help us with that?
It changes everything, and for the better, and that is the understatement of the century.
We are not solid, unconnected, separate individuals, victims of our genes, family, fate and body.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Turns out that we do not do the healing. Our main job is to get the hell out the way and allow the body and Source energy to realign the cells.
The blue print for health is already there, when we allow the past to wash away, connect back to the blueprint, healing occurs.
This may sound bonkers to you, but the evidence is now irrefutable.
Trust and Surrender is the best advice you will ever get.
Dr Joe Dispenza is getting real time healings every single advanced workshop, go here for the proof.
I will say that again.
Real time, instant healings.
And Lynne MacTaggart is demonstrating the power of group intention, community and altruism for healing. www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FYGRztyR24&t=60s
This is actually nothing new. People have talked about the power of prayer and faith healings for ever.
Probably because of the bullshit of religion most of us did not believe it thinking they were all crazy and brainwashed.
Whats different now is that we have the science to back this up.
A totally new understanding of exactly what is happening for us to experience these “miracles”.
In uber simple terms we can change the frequency of our brains, let go and tune into different data streams of information that allows the cells to rearrange themcellves back to homeostasis, balance.
This work is still in its infancy, we are learning more literally everyday so we need to keep our minds open, the veil is lifting and we are now able to see and experience our Supernatural abilities.
Information coming in through the heartfield means we feel changes long before our brain gets the signal, but we have been taught the other way round.
This is science, so we have no choice but to believe it?
Is that not the mantra? Where is the data?
Well you have it now, but you will not find it at your local NHS provider.
Your body and health is your responsibility.
NEVER blindly accept someone elses point of view without checking in with your inuition. Their opinion is just that, and could be based on outdated information.
We MUST own our power and take control of our health back.
We get sick because of our past, our enviroments internal and external.
We have a disease pandemic, our health system will soon be unable to cope, there is evidence of that already.
Do you seriously still believe that surgery and drugs are the best option for the body?
Are you going to wait till you get sick and hope for the best, or are you going to learn about that incredible energy system you have the honour of living in, and soar into this new reality like an ecstatic bird?
How open is your mind?
How resistant are you to new beliefs and perceptions?
Listen in right now to what your intuition is saying......
We are emotional energetic beings, we can even measure that now.
Everyone of us has the power to heal, has the potential for a “miralce” not matter what our diagnosis and prognosis.
I believe using the words terminal, aggressive, incurable, inoperable is causing untold suffering and death.
There is not doubt that some bodies are screaming for help, toxic, acidic, overloaded, running on adrenalin, but to take a snapshot of that second in time and then predict the future is at best misguided and worst abuse.
There are many things that you can do to help the body.
Why are we not being given that information? Great Britain does not look so great to me on the health front.
Heal Scotland is a movement to bring that education to my Scottish family.
We cannot wait on Theresa May or Nicola Sturgeon?
Lets change this ourcellves because we can.
Laughing is one of the best things you can do to boost your immune system and the Scots and brilliant at that.
But are you laughing enough?
Are you using your magical creative powers enough?
Are you happy enough to keep your immune system up?
On April 1st 2019 we will launch Scotlands first ever healing community.
12 weeks of Education & Support for Transformation.
Taking this exciting new scientific evidence, sharing it with you on this idylic bio dynamic farm in Argyll.
Using pracise and patience along with repetition to refire and rewire your brain for much greater love and joy.
This is not about avoiding death, this is about leaving suffering behind and learning to trust and surrender.
This is not wishful thinking, this is physics.
Here is the website www.helpyourcell.com/
Want to learn more from a Scientist?
What an incredible place and experience
I wanted to volunteer on a farm and had been browsing on helpx looking for the right place, but it takes time, you need to work out where you will be etc and I had not made it happen yet.
One of the girls I met at Hostal Izychuluma said she was going to one and the owners were coming up to the hostel to pick her up. She showed me the spec, and biodynamic stuck out, it was convenient, close by, would be super handy and save me any more research I thought.
I went with her to meet the owners and see if they needed any more volunteers and if it felt right it could fit perfectly with the end of my visa.
I met them, Walter and Susan, and we agreed I would go there the following Monday,. Perfect.
We met in the village there was one other volunteer there, a guy and we piled all the stuff into the jeep, Walters wife was staying in town for an extra few days so it was just the 3 of us.
The drive was stunning through the Mountains then onto a rough track where we literally drove over the River 3 times, its clearly a road that is not passable in heavy rain.
About 50 mins later we arrive at the Finca. It is jaw dropping.
In the middle of nowhere, 360 view of the Mountains, green, trees, cows, goats, chickens, donkeys and a dog.
Yunis, the other volunteer (a young attractive, and hilarious French Algerian guy) and I looked at each other in obvious agreement, this was a great move.
I had no idea what I was going to be asked to do, we arrived later in the afternoon and got shown our rooms. I got the best one, upstairs a proper built room and Yunis took one of the huts in the garden. They looked pretty dusty and mosquitoey to me, but he seemed cool
By the time we did this then reconvened to discuss dinner and the next days itineray, I had started to sneeze.
I asked if they had a cat, that's what it felt like, but they didn't, not in the house. I had also taken out some blankets in the room, so I thought it could be that, its not unusual for me to have minor allergies to cats and house dust, I did not realise at the time I was going to have the worst hay fever I have ever experienced.
The spectacular setting of the farm was worth it though. What a place for a Retreat I thought, that's how I see stunning settings.
We met with Christian a local farmer who had been there for 7 years, him and Walter got the place going, planting, organising, building and all the incredible amount of work it takes to organise the land. And Jose, he has only been there a few months, but big into the land and keeping it pristine, he was a wealth of knowledge and happy, open disposition.
Yunis and I go with Jose to weed the vegetable beds. Perfectly nice work, and an ok temperature, a bit hazy so we did not get the full pelt of the sun.
Jose has no english, which was good for me, he just chatted away and I think I understood most of it. I was happy just to be hearing spanish as I didn't really hear any at the hostel.
In the afternoon we had a lesson on biodynamic farming and what it actually means, with Walter. I smiled when I noticed the clock, the Power of Now. Me and Jose above.
I knew Biodynamic worked by the moon, but I did not know it also went with the Astrological signs and Elemental beings.
This was a true mind and eye opener.
"Each farm or garden is viewed as an integrated whole, as a living organism in its own right. Like a human being, a farm is made up of many different organs and systems. When these are managed and brought together in a dynamic way, they interact positively with one another to support the health and well-being of the whole. And like a human being, each farm is unique, with its own personality and identity. The holistic expression of a farm’s unique potential is referred to as the “farm individuality.”
Harnessing the energy of the Cosmos, through the land, into the food and then through our bodies. How do you like the sound of that.
Didn't take Yunis and I long to overuse the word Cosmic to our great hilarity for 2 weeks.
If we do not harness this powerful energy, we may not be able to take our thoughts through to actions. Hmmmm food for thought, this is what I deal with daily with my clients and mycellf.
It was a luxury for me to prepare nutritious food again, I have not done this since I left home. Going to the greenhouse and picking the greens, pulling the carrots, beets, sweet potatoes and eating the oranges, lemons, papayas and mangoes straight from the trees. We just missed avocado season, bummer.
I was in Cosmic nutrition Heaven.
We had a lovely week, I pruned tomatoes, weeded, and just enjoyed good food and the stunning setting. The hayfever came and went, annoying but ignorable, I tapped and tried to let the body deal with it.
There is another fantastic feature in this farm, at the bottom of the garden there are 2 rivers, one that provides Mother Natures jacuzzi.
The most amazing thing to do when you are hot after your weeding and digging.
There are also cows on the farm which is invaluable when you are self sufficient, they make so many worthwhile products from manure through to cheese.
One had a baby calf when we were there, that blew me away, seeing this gorgeous little thing stoat about the field, from the darkness of his mamas womb to this incredible Finca, wow, ma nature.
Yunis got on with the milking, he was up early everyday doing the do, and then they separated the animals at night, which seemed weird to us, and when it was just us at the weekend, that caused us more hilarity.
Yunis made cheese, yogurt, sour cream, condensed milk, kefir and jam, it was so amazing to see all this, and the different things that you could do.
Everything was alive and fresh and full of Cosmic energy.
We also did a healing swap, I did some energy work with him and he gave me an abdominal, painful massage. He was really good, but it was not a go to sleep affair.
He is multi talented, wine exporting, ex trendy wine bar owner, yoga teacher, masseuse, free dive teacher, speaks Korean, French, Arabic, English and Spanish. And he is only 30!
And he is a dancer. I was drumming one night and he just started dancing round the kitchen, sooooooo cool! A force to be reckoned with in the best possible way.
His Scottish is not that good mind you, he looked at me blankly daily.
Walter has been making cheese for 45 years, so he was a pro, and we could get the milk then have cheese the next day. He is a fascinating, lovely, quiet, humble man who has farmed all his life and is now enjoying learning new things, healing, drumming, spirtual practises and a load of other things, super impressive to see my generation and older still taking on the World.
His wife Susan is vivacious and bright and has an amazingly altruistic project called Kins innovation. www.kinsinnovation.org
KINS networks practice “heart-mind” collaboration to achieve the most daunting of global sustainability goals working without pay. See the science behind “heart-mind” athttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=237WCALmJXQ
They are a powerful pair and have a place in Vilcabamba where they go there every Friday and come back on Monday afternoon. That left us on the farm just chilling for the weekend, it was beautiful. But for some reason my hayfever went into overdrive. Sneezing, nose running, and mad mental itching in my nose, throat and ears, which affected my sleep and much as I tapped, my energy was defo dulled.
On the Monday they arrived back with 2x18 year old German girl volunteers.
And another family with 2 young kids.
They were here on a mission for the land, a Spirit house is being built an area that the Kogi tribe from Colombia had recommended. I will do another blog on this story because it is fascinating and mind expanding and too long to fit in here.
Where was everyone going to sleep, I assumed the girls would come with me, but it looked like I was getting put out for the family, which made sense, but not when you have hayfever. More itching and mosquitos could push me over the edge.
However Sylvie, the mama picked up straight away on my thoughts which impressed me hugely, she said no to putting me out and that they could sleep anywhere. Unfortunately for Yunis the only other feasible option was his pad.
I had 4 beds in my nice, mozzie free place and said he could come in with us, but he decided to go for the tent. After a night of no sleep, cats and bugs he moved into the girls dorm and we all lived happily ever after.
Sylvie, a healer and expert on all indigenous plants, brought me a pile of herbs, grasses and flowers to boil up for 20 mins and shower with. It smelt amazing, I loved it. Plus a nettle to make tea with to hopefully knock the hayfever on the head.
Sylvie and Jorge have 7 kids between them, and they brought the youngest 2 with them, an 18 month and 5 year old. Beautiful boys and always magic to have kids energy around and it so fascinating to see other cultures and how they raise their children. The oldest one chatted away to me in Spanish which was actually really helpful, I picked up a few phrases from him.
On the second week my energy levels were down with not sleeping right and constantly blowing my nose and itching the unitchable. I was tapping and constantly trying to ignore what the body was doing, letting it work it out, but boy was it annoying.
Christian had bought 30 or so medicinal plants and they had to be labelled and named so I took on this task as it saved me being right in among the farm. I started working on all the medicinal benefits, still not finished, but it is my area of passion and I loved it. Having Sylvie there too was awesome with her huge knowledge and love of the land and the plant kingdom.
These are people with deep spiritual connection to the Planet and see it as alive and sentient. This change in narrative from our one, means they treat it with a reverence and respect. I am now fully appreciating the power of our Story culturally as well as personally. If we fully understood the Planet is alive would we behave differently?
My pot of herbs above, the inca garden and me and my greens.
We had a lovely week, 18 year old German girls, 57 year old Scottish granny, 30 and 40 year old Ecuadorian farmers, 30 year old French Algerian, the American owners and the Colombian family who are the translators and coordinators for the rare Colombian Kogi tribe. We had super interesting chats.
On the last night we took the drums down by the river under the moon then did a meditation under the Ceiba tree, it was magic.
Volunteers and Opportunity.
Walter and Susan are getting older, their words, they dont have time to look after the farm and develop the opportunities there and look after the volunteers, so they really need someone or a couple who could take that role on.
Clearly this would be the perfect job for me, but I have a big project in Scotland next year, and cannot commit at this time, plus the hayfever thing could be a problem long term.
I am setting up a 12 week healing community in Scotland, to bring the latest, proven scientific methods and protocols to the people in the hope to help us see our incredible power, when we learn how to operate the body. The body is genius, we just have an untrue narrative about it.
But what a fantastic opportunity for the right people. Such exciting potential there, and plenty of huts that would be fine for staying in with a little bit of tlc, soft furnishings, animal proofing and mozzie nets.
It truly is a magical place, I will return, I dream of Retreats there, the most perfect place to heal and connect to raise your vibration.
They even have a pedal powered smoothie maker.
Yunis and I are talking about the possiblities of pulling our skills and passions and running some Retreats here in the next year or so.
Watch this beautiful space.
The best education ever may not come at school
I have been amazed at the number of young people travelling. 18-25s make up a huge amount of the people I am meeting and often it is young girls on their own.
What a set of balls they have, not only to travel alone, but to come to South America on their own, or with a young friend.
They seem totally confident, cutting about like pros. Facing the fears, because they have some, but doing it anyway, Goddessing it right up.
The last time I travelled we had internet for email, but no smart phones.
They makes a huge difference.
You can be contacted, and you can keep in contact daily, just to soothe worried minds, especially if its your first time away from home.
Uber, Hostel World, Booking, Workaway, Help X, Maps me, Google translate, Spanish apps, to name but a few of the brilliant ways to book ahead, find out how much it costs to get places and generally leave an online trail.
But none the less it is still a big step.
Moving out of your Country and your Continent.
Its tough for Guys too, but females have added fears and perhaps not the physical strength that some guys have.
Its easier if you speak Spanish, no doubt about that, but not everyone does, certainly not on arrival.
The Hostels are the best way to meet others, especially travelling alone, and I am sure for couples too.
Some Hostels really nail it, great social areas, meals together, roof top hang outs, tours in the area, all go to create another Community within the travelling Community, an opportunity to meet like minded peeps.
The camaraderie is truly remarkable.
My age never stops me getting invited out to join the young uns, even travelling with them for days at a time, and having a real laugh.
It is like one big family, with others more than happy to help you if you ever need it.
Really brings out the best in humans.
When I was on Finca Sagrada we had two young girls from Germany who have come right out of school at 18. They talked their parents into letting them travel before they start to study.
They have been using Workaway and been all over Chile, Boliva, Peru, Ecuador and are on their way to Colombia.
They picked up trash in the desert, worked at reception, in a Hostel in another one making breakfast and cleaning and flyering in one place, the only thing they did not really enjoy.
They are now on their way to a Vegan Restaurant in Montanita.
They have come to this farm in the middle of nowhere, moved out their beds to accommodate us, pitched right in with all the chores, happy to be helpful and useful even outside volunteering hours.
I asked them a few questions as I had a captive audience.
Here is what they said.
What made you decide to travel?
They did a student exchange when they were 15 to Chile and they wanted to come back.
They had Spanish in school plus on the exchange, so they are fluent and can communicate easily.
No boyfriends back home to hold them back and ruin their lives lol.
Did your parents, family and friends have any concerns?
One of the girls is an identical twin, her sister chose to go straight to Uni, while she decided to come to South America. Her mum and dad have been split for years and she had never had a run in with Dad, until she told him about the travel plans.
They argued it out and she held her ground, and now he is seeing how strong and brave she is, and is proud and supportive. The other girls parents travelled a lot but were not keen on the South America idea, suggesting Australia, but she too was determined.
They made it happen, despite all the fear. Awesome.
It seems that everyone who comes here gets concern from those who have never been.
But here they are, travelling, volunteering, learning, bonding, its incredible.
What do you like most about travelling?
Meeting and getting to know a lot of other people, cultures, Countries. Really enjoying the bus and seeing the different landscapes, which are incredible here.
What is the biggest thing you have learned?
To be open and dont judge.
Wow that is what they said.
To respect other cultures, they do it differently here, and to respect that too. And to be patient, now that is a biggy. Remember these girls are 18!
Life is good even when things are going wrong, because you dont have much else to think about. And you cannot plan, things change all the time, so be spontaneous.
Sounds like a great life lesson.
What do you appreciate more about home now?
Washing machines, bread, peace, going out without worrying about getting robbed. To be able to go out in the dark without being scared.
To get back to a life structure.
And the kitchen at home, not having to go shopping for every ingredient you need.
And to be able to eat your parents food.
And the pets and family ofcourse.
Will you do it again?
And we will tell everyone about it
They would encourage all young ones to travel and to volunteer too.
It gives you a sense of purpose through the days and you learn and meet interesting people.
Its a journey just for you.
Another super intelligent perception I have never thought about.
Not for anyone else. You have a lot of time to think and get to know yourself, finding solutions for problems. Even when you feel lost you find your way out of it.
It feels like living, like really living.
Huge thanks to the girls for indulging and sharing with me, I look forward to following their life adventures over the next decade or so.
Plant based medicine
I have heard a lot about Ayuhuasca, most of my friends have done it, but I have never been drawn, because I was a bit scared.
It seems that it can be a pretty mental and not so pleasant experience, telling you things about yourcellf that you might not want to know and I never really saw anyone getting amazing results, so I thought I would give it a miss.
If I could guarantee coming out the other side as a fully enlightened being, I would take the risk of hours of hell, but there are no guarantees, either way.
You have no idea what the hell will happen.
I have got Joe Dispenza, he teaches people to get to that place simply using your heart, brain and mind. For free, if you are prepared to practise. He has tons of videos on youtube you can watch and learn and see the incredible results his disciples are getting.
Changing from the inside out, which is what we all have to do.
But there I am sitting at the swimming pool in the incredible Izychuluma hostel in Vilcabamba, Ecuador.
I start chatting to this very attractive young guy who I am sharing a dorm with.
He is going to do Ayuhuasca the next night, so I start asking all the same questions I ask of everyone, because I am intrigued and also terrified.
He tells me of his amazing experiences and how it is his mission to help people experience the growth and insights he has had on his journey.
He seems incredibly wise for 20.
He came out the modelling World and has had a few experiences that have set him on a totally different path, the spiritual one.
His passion shines clear and I find mycellf once again contemplating it.
He cajoles and says I should try. I can go with him and his friend the next night, its fairly close by, he has done it with this Shaman before, its $80 so it all seems very convenient, if I fancy giving it a bash.
Nicho emailed the Shaman and he said he wanted to meet me, so with butterflies in my stomach I agreed to go the following morning, I would see what my gut said and take it from there.
This is the gorgeous Nicho, it was all his fault.
After I decided to go, the nerves left and I felt a bit excited, it was strange.
We wandered down the hill to meet the Shaman and I was intrigued to learn more.
Nicho had told me his place was immense but I had no idea how startling it was going to be.
Because Izychuluma is pretty off the scale stunning I thought it would be hard to beat, but this place is quite unlike any other I have ever seen.
As we walked along the River towards the place we were just chatting and must have mentioned Shaman, when a voice came from behind saying "quack shaman".
I started laughing, this is all the chat you get here. It has to be the real deal, and I am not sure anyone knows exactly the criteria for this.
I said to the guy, ahh so this guy is not a real Shaman, he said no. You need to go down deep into the jungle to get one.
He was pretty mean, and it felt immediately to me like jealousy and not deep concern for our welfare.
I was more amused than perturbed and was still happy to go with my gut when I met Miguel.
I walked into his garden and was spellbound.
It was like walking into a Disney movie, or as Julia, the other girl who joined us later said, it was like going into Alice in Wonderland.
Miguel was charming, warm, permanently amused and I liked him immediately.
There was no airs and graces here, he showed us around, we saw the ceremony site, he spent a couple of hours with us, so I decided it felt right.
I asked him if he drank it too and he laughed saying, ofcourse, it would be too boring if I never.
Fair enough, like going out with your friends when you are not drinking, no fun at all.
We were to go down there at 10pm then drink the medicine at 11pm. It goes on most of the night then you get fruit for brekkers around 7am.
We fasted all day to get the full experience.
About 6pm a young girl came to the dorm and was in the bed beside me. I told her that I was going and she on the spur of the moment decided to join.
So that made 4 of us.
Off we went, arrived there, we all had a mattress each, we sat around the fire, chatted, then the Plant medicine was given out.
It was green and tasted pretty gross, but I have drunk plenty of gross things in my day so it was no biggy.
Then you sit there, its in, and you have no idea what is going to happen.
As I am a letting go expert I consoled mycellf with the fact that I could let anything go, but also knew that it might not be that simple, you can be overwhelmed and lose all control, infact that could be what it is about.
You get a bowl to vomit in and there was an outside toilet near by for when your bowel empties.
You can see why I have avoided it for years lol.
I dont want to expose others stories but one of the others got up and was clearly distressed. I was still sitting waiting, and knew it could be me next.
Anyway the others dealt with it, as I had no idea really what was going on and was just waiting for the hammer to fall.
I felt the nausea coming on strong, then vomitted and knew that would possibly kick it all off, which it did.
I then went into a fairly pleasant psychedelic experience.
I was still expecting shit to happen, but I kept releasing and just enjoyed the sacred geometry show.
Miguel came over to see if I wanted more, but it was all good and I did not want to push my luck. I could hear the singing and drumming in the distance but I was in another world.
I opened my eyes a few times but could not grasp peoples faces so just kept them closed and observed.
Next thing Nicho was by my side and I came to and we discussed our experiences.
It had worn off, everyone was quiet, and it felt nice just to lie and listen to the rain and the river.
I cannot say I got a message or anything profound.
But I felt great for days after, and it was a real bonding experience for the 4 of us that did it.
Not everyone had the pleasant experience, but when it was over they seemed to come out the other side, maybe more relieved than anything.
Doing "plant medicine" here is huge, really big business.
Money always changes things. It used to just be the Shaman that did it, now its open to everyone, which I agree with, but it leaves it open to greed.
People are paying thousands to do the Retreats.
It fascinates me that we are willing to put ourcellves through that, because make no mistake it can be awful.
We are chasing the dream?
The dream of understanding ourcellves and what the hell this is all about?
You can get insights for sure, but you can get them in other ways too.
But are you prepared to do the work afterwards, the personal, eternal, journey of discovery that we all have to take in order to be free.
Free from the mind.
The Shaman says all illness starts in the mind.
Even in the West we are starting to understand that now.
Most of the stories we have been told are simply not true and it is time for us to open our minds to how powerful and destructive we are.
The only person who can conquer your mind is you.
No Doctor, no pill, no operation.
I am learning so much here, especially on this biodynamic farm, where the land is natural, the farmers understand the moon and the stars and how to grow food without harming the Earth.
It could not be further from the developed World and the way we live in the West.
The reverence for the plant and spirit World is part of life here.
Vilcabamba used to be famous because the people lived to be really old.
In communities, and harmony.
One of the farmers guessed my age exactly. HIs mother in law is 100, still works the fields, can thread a needle without glasses.
Wow how far we have moved out of harmony.
And we are paying the price.
Do I recommend Ayuhuasca?
If you are drawn to it then go right ahead.
It is definitely helping people, how much of it is placebo I do not know.
Or are we still looking outside of ourcellves for the answer?
I believe we all have the capacity to heal, and it should be free and available to anyone no matter what Country they are in and how much money they have.
I believe its an inside job.
But external things can help, listen to your heart, see if it calls you.
The ceremony etc around it is powerful, the community, the power of group intention, then the plant. Who knows what is doing what?
In Scotland we would take these "drugs" and get wasted.
Here they call it medicine, they treat it in a special way, they hold intention and community, and they get results.
We could maybe learn a thing or two?
There is huge hype round these islands.
And there is no doubt they are a stunning, magical piece of Volcanic action.
People say its the most amazing place they have ever been.
So your expectation level can go wayyyyyy up and then you get there and think, yeah its nice, but I have been to other nice places.
There are two kinds of holiday maker there.
The I am on vacation for 2 weeks and have a years spending money escaping the rat race, or the Backpacker working on a budget which happened to be me this trip.
It is $20 to get out of Quito, and the $100 when you arrive at Baltra, nice surprise.
That pissed me off to start with, why 2 payments.
Then there is all the palava about conservation, bug sprays in the overhead cabins in the aircraft, and checking the mud on your boots when you leave and go to another islands.
Seriously guys? We know that makes zero difference to anything.
When you arrive in the airport its another big palava where all the bags are put together and the dog walks over the top of them all. I assume thats for drugs, but they do it in a very formal, important way.
It was much more like US approach, they are doing a lot but actually doing nothing.
Airport security etc brings out the worst in me, and humans, moving your perfume into a see through bag and kidding ourcellves on that we are tackling terrorism. They kid on they are tackling conservation, or something Im not sure, its bollocks anyway.
In Scotland we have off the scale wildlife. No palalva going there, no unseen charges, no fee to get on our islands, no spraying of foreigners, or kidding on that we are checking their shoes, it all seems like a bit of a brand exercise.
And if you sail in they want your hull scrubbed 2 miles off. Really, what exactly is that going to achieve. More rules for rules sake if you ask me.
I met a film maker from the USEG US enviromnental group. He was there to film a beach clean up, to talk to the locals about conservation etc, but it turns out one of the big pollutants here are the Asian boats who dump everything and anything from their boats way out at sea, that affects the islands. The plastic pollution is an issue in all our waters now and Galapagos is no different. Not the mud from my boots or yours for that matter.
We are all in this together, no point in one Country doing everything if others are blatantly disregarding Nature and our wildlife.
Now dont get me wrong it is beautiful, barren, green, volcanic and stunning all at the same time, but for me the main attraction here is the diving and snorkelling.
And I was a bit underwhelmed.
Coming from Mompiche which has the cleanest beach I have ever seen,and the stunning jungle all around, I was already high on the beauty of the Planet.
I have been blessed to dive round the World, and it was not the best by a long shot for me.
The visibility was poor and again it was super expensive to dive. $250 US for a try dive and 2 dives at Kicker Rock. One with no air lol.
The best 2 days I had was snorkelling close to the island in a bay where the visibility was a bit better. I got to swim with the giant turtles and it was magical.
Kicker Rock was immense, a huge challenge and a world famous dive, but really you could not see much. Apart from the massive shoal of fish we danced with, that was awesome.
I saw white tipped and hammer head sharks but they were shadows with the low viz.
Not what I expected, but thats Nature for you, there is a bit of luck involved.
The people were super nice and friendly, but I spent a lot of time on my own due to me not speaking Spanish and not being in a dorm, where all the other lone travellers are.
And there is a feeling that because you are white the price goes up.
In Isabella there are some really cool beach bars, and in Santa Marta the main island there are some really good restaurants, so that made me happy.
The other thing that you should know is the ferries are not really ferries. They are big cruise boats, around maybe 30ft with 3 x 200 horsepower engines behind them.
This makes them fast but super uncomfortable in big weather.
I had someone spewing on both sides of me, and it can be a 2.5 hour trip. Its your luck if you get to be in the fresh air outside the boat, but only a 1/3 of people can fit there, the rest are inside, in the hot, smelly, boat.
Some boats are better than others, so if you were there with kids, or anyone who gets sea sick, really bear this in mind, it is not pleasant.
On the dive day, an older lady, even older than me, came on to snorkel with her son.
She should NEVER have been sold that trip, the boat was tiny, rocking all over the place, 8 divers getting their kit on and off 3 times, and she was stuck out ther all day vomiting. Her poor son just sat with his arm over her, a shit day for both of them and I could have told you it would be, so these guys should have known. There is no land or shelter out there and it was shit for snotkelling too due to huge swell.
Running out of air 12 metres down
It is still not clear why I ran out of air on my second dive at the famous Kicker Rock.
The Dive Master wanted me to believe I drank it all, but no way. The first dive was 48 mins we came back up with 600. I ran out after around 25 mins at a much shallower depth and was totally relaxed, until I realised what had happened.
There are different reasons it could happen, it was never discussed.
He immediately gave me his spare, but we had to surface a bit early bobbing about in huge swell, no boat in sight, I had to practise letting go, big time.
There was chaos on the boat, changing the cylinders for the second dive and I did think hmmmm potential for mix up here, and the crew fixed you all up, helped you get on the ledge, turned on air, did half assed check, but 8 divers is a lot on a small boat.
I actually felt sorry for the guy, what an enormous responsibility.
And the crazy thing is I did not question the safety, not at booking, not on the boat, which was stupid, and after speaking to others after the event, they had had issues with this company.
He was cool though, the second I showed him my reading, he grabbed his spare, and the dive continued for another 10 mins or so. He was clearly very experienced and really made me and Paulina the other female feel very safe despite this situation,
I had a similar safetly experience later on back on the mainland when I went zip lining.
I just assumed it would be safe, and the guy handed me 2 metal blocks and sent me up to the wire which stretched across the canyon.
I just assumed someone would be there to help me, then had to shout the guy up to help.
I realised after that my life was in the hands of these two young guys who actuallly worked the braking system by hand.
Anyway,still here telling all the tales, then it was the Ayuhuasca story,
Watch this space lol
Kicker Rock dive below.
Radical Remissions 9 steps reversed
If we reverse the 9 steps for healing, do we have the protocal for getting sick?
If we know that the 9 major factors that led to healing are as below, can we assume if doing that makes us well, does doing the opposite make us sick?
The overwhelming surprises in the healing factors for me were that exercise played no part (they were too sick to exercise in the initial stages but it came in later as healing and energy happened) and that only 2 of the steps are to do with the physical, diet and herbs and supplements, the rest is all about the Mind.
So lets have a look and use the polarities of the factors so see if it helps us get an insight to why we get sick?
We know how powerful our minds are, we know that people heal spontaneously, we know that people defy the odds, we fully understand that people who do not give a proverbial shit have a jollier ride in life.
We talk about diet and exercise all the time, and people are trying to fit that into their already overburdened lives.
Maybe our focus needs to change.
Lynne MacTaggarts new book catagorically proves that Community and Altruism heals us and the Community.
We are interconnected, literally all in it together, and the only way we can survive and heal is to fully understand this. Competition can lead us on to greater things but Collaboration, when we all pull together for the greater good of all, led from the heart, we are literally unstoppable.
Bruce Liptons book Biology of Belief tells us how our beliefs change genetic expression.
Dr Joe teaches us to heal by thought alone and proves it time and time again that we all have an innate healing capacity when we let go and connect to the Unified Field.
Greg Braden explains the Matrix and our place in it and the Supernatural powers that he has witnessed in the East that we all have access to.
So are we looking at this the wrong way?
Your food can be perfect but if you
There is NO pharmaceutical pill, treatment or surgery that can fix that.
This is the official, proverbial inside job.
Can you believe that you are protected and never alone, that you have are meant to be here, that your voice counts, that you can speak your truth, believe in your Supernatural powers and be with your Community serving your purpose and feeling part of the Collective?
Can you stand strong, Let go of the past completely, trust and surrender using your incredible IMAGINATION to help yourcellf, your Community and the Planet?
Dr Kelly Turner is beaming in live to the Goddess Gathering on 2nd November 2018.
She will be there to answer all your questions. Get your ticket here.
What are your thoughts?
Are you healing or harming?
The Placebo is you.
Hear from the Master.
Alone and unlimited
Travelling alone is a no no for some of us, and years ago I am sure I would never have had the balls to do it either.
But there are many benefits and very few draw backs, especially with smart phones, (as long as you dont swim with them) as you always know exactly where you are and are always contactable.
On my phone I have maps me, tracker finder for my kids peace of mind, Uber for the cheapest taxis which is hugely handy when you have no idea where you are and to get a ball park figure of how long it takes to get places and how much it costs.
Then you have my spanish apps, music, messaging, it really is a piece of cake compared to the last time I did this, when the only communication happened through email.
But take the phone out the equation and things change.
My daily spanish lessons stopped, which was a big miss, keeping the language in my head over and over has been brilliant.
No maps, fine in the Galapagos but a totall pain in the ass getting back into Quito and finding my way around. No idea about this city, where to go, how long it takes, blah, blah, blah.
I got on a trole bus yesterday on a mission to buy a phone, managed to ask for the centro de la ciudad and headed into the every large city centre, jammed in with another 3000 peeps swinging and holding on for dear life.
I had no idea where to get off, but when I had been on for about 45 mins and I started to see a lot of shops, I just got off. Found the nearest hostel, cranked up my lap top to make sense of where I was. So much easier if you have your phone.
I can understand what people say now if it is in context, but I a completely isolated by the language here, the speed they talk and the accents, it's an interesting experience.
I am glad I took the lap top but obviously is not ideal on the bus, or airport, or street corner.
I had to find wifi, then hope it would connect, then try and remember details or write them in my notepad, very old school and a pain in the ass.
No music or meditations when I am on bus or plane, and no way to send my nieces stupid photos of my trip.
I love the freedom, where will I go today, what time, where am I headed, there is a real excitement getting up and wondering what amazingly, beautiful place to go to next.
I am going to write a separate blog on the Galapaogos, but as I became phoneless there it was in interesting experience.
The hostels there and a few places on mainland have no kitchens and private bedrooms more like a hotel, which may sound nice, and is occasionally, but not if you want to socialise.
For me, travelling alone, the main way you meet people is in the bostels, sharing dorms or eating in the kitchen.
So I had a few days where I really spoke to no one, and having no phone I was not talking to any of my friends or family around the World. When I could get online the internet was not strong or fast enough for me to really communicate happily in any way, but there were positives too.
With regards to my Spanish it has hugely improved but only to ask for things and understand directions etc, not have meaningful get to know you, what are you all about converstations.
Kind of like a silent retreat as I joked to my sister, but it was an interesting experience.
For a kick off I made huge inroads into a project I am working on. Got right back into reading and ordered 3 new books which I have not done to a while. Had time to reflect on what I truly want to do.
Still not sure btw except I know I love the travelling life and thanks to another couple of apps, I can volunteer, learn new skills, meet new people and pay practically nothing to be here.
The internet has truly opened us up as a Global community and I love it.
But my obsession continues
My mind is still obsessed with healing.
How can we bring the latest, scientifically proven techniques to the Scottish and Maltese communities? I care about everyone else but these 2 places are my backyard, were I will be living and visiting, where my heart is.
How can we change the terrifying language that is currently used, and create an environment of love and hope, with access to the latest info on how people defied the odds, as thousands are doing.
How can we create a Global support network for those on the healing path, to ensure that no one feels cutt off , terrified and alone, and can access the good stuff? The data as my darling friend Sondra Barret would say.
I even met and chatted to a Scottish lady who has lived here for 21 years, who had a radical remission!
I am working on a mission, travel gives me time to plan, meditate, release, visualise and ask for guidance and support.
I have met so many interesting people on route, most travellers have got a great story and a fascinating attitude. They have moved out of the system for a few months, years and that is invaluable for your soul. Nobody is judging you on your past, you only need to share what you want, and you can really be yourcellf.
I am amazed at how many really young girls are travelling alone, 18 and up, wow have they got some courage and strength.
With the work I do, the new undestanding of totally changing your external environment has been a real insight to me.
Most of us are living in the past, dragging it around, projecting it into the future, and depressing our immune system with it and running out of energy in the process.
Most of us feel liberated and refreshed when we go on holiday, then its back, we even call it back to the grind.
Does it have to be that way?
Since I moved to Malta my life is much more holiday vibe than grind and I know a lot of my friends there find that too.
I know living in the sun is not for everyone, but I think its powerful to look around and see if you can find your place.
I met a girl who had come from Mexico and she said it was her place. She felt it there, its an interesting thing, we know, not with the 5 senses, but with the heart.
I get that.
I am having a ball travelling through all these places, seeing this incredible Planet but as yet I know for now this is not "my place". I knew Malta was the minute I arrived there.
Finding your place helps you align with greater everything.
If you are unbappy or just living for the weekends, maybe you need to find a new place.
Doesnt have to be in a different Country, it might not be your home it could be your job.
Stress and wishing things were different are simply a sign that something needs to change.
Its your boot up the arse, come on, release the fear and see what else you could be doing that could make your heart sing.
I am a traveller, I have known that since I was a kid, always dreamt of sunny places, being on the sea, meeting all different cultures.
Now thanks to the internet we can travel pretty much forever if we want.
I am also driven from something I do not understand, to help create a better "health and happiness" picture in my 2 beloved Countries.
Sometimes I get downhearted thinking it is too big a job, and people do not want to change. Then I kick my own ass. Where is the hope in that thinking?
That makes my heart sing.
Casa De Sirena
When I left to come to South America on my own, I had no idea really where I would go, what I would do and how I would pass my days.
Seems crazy, but I just did not think about it.
I flew into Bogota and had a lot of fun meeting other travellers in hostels, sightseeing, chatting and moving on to the next fascinating place.
I decided I wanted to stay put for a while, so went onto the HelpX website to find somewhere to volunteer. I wanted to learn about living out here, give back and immerse mycellf in one of the villages.
At this point my Spanish was nada and this is important, I could understand Jack shit.
I saw this American woman had moved to this fishing village and set up her dream home, and was looking for volunteers. I messaged her, she facetimed me, and a few weeks later I arrived here.
I was blown away by the house. It is still a work in progress but for me it is like a dream from a kid.
I always dreamt of living on a forest or a raft? Go figure, the nomad has been in my since forever.
I had no idea what I was going to be doing either lol.
There were already 4 others here helping when I arrived. 2 were curing the bamboo and varnishing, 2 were doing something downstairs with wood and seemed to be able to fix things, which I clearly could not be part of, so I got a brush and started curing and varnishing.
I did not bring old clothes, so note to cellf, be a bit more prepared.
Turns out it was so hot that I was in my bikini or swimsuit anyway, so it was all good.
And strangely rewarding.
Sirena is a character of monumental proportions, I just loved her, we hit it off immediately.
The fact that she moved Continent at 50 is so inspiring to me, most of us never move out our town. It is a huge thing to do, especially when you do not know the language, or the culture.
She had seen this place in a dream when she was 21 and has been here for 12 years.
There is another story behind it, but that is hers to tell. It has not been easy, and she ran out of money, but not Spirit and drive.
So the workaway and helpx sites have allowed her to utilise this incredible space to further her dream and give people like me an opportunity to live her for next to nothing.
Mompiche is a step back in time, where literally no one speaks English. The fishing boats go out, but stay in sight of shore, they bring in enough food for today.
There is good surf here too with a large safe beach, and that is the thing that I believe will blow this place up, tourists are finding it, and it will inevitably change, as everywhere does.
My friends have recently been to Costa Rica, beautiful, but full of expats and tourists, everyone speaking English, its a different experience.
I have been going along to help at some English classes which is fun, some of the locals, plus a 70 year old tuc tuc driver who want to communicate with the tourists and understand how valuable that will be for them.
I have even had my own private yoga studio!
I have helped Sirena with a website, blog, some marketing ideas and I suppose refreshed her enthusiasm of the vision for this magnificent Tree House.
She knows everyone and has a friend, the local Tarzan and jungle expert Ramone who will take you on an amazingly education and inspriational tour for only $12.
Her cooking is delicious, breakfast and dinners can be part of the deal, I highly recommend you take this up, you will be fed fresh, delicious and nutritious meals.
I have spent nearly 3 weeks here and already feel a bit sad about leaving.
I 100% recommend coming here if you are open minded, love nature and want to experience this form of Glamping.
I loved it.
Living in a Tree House and Who do you trust?
I have been in Casa de Sirena, this incredible tree house for a few days and settling into life in this awesome little fishing/surf village.
It is rustic and cool, fairly untouched by the outside World, although I doubt that will last when people really discover it.
There is no bank, the nearest one is 2 hours away, you can buy a pair of flip flops (still smarting ove the loss of mine) but thats about it, kit wise.
There are restaurants, cafes and hostels dotted around, a couple of surf shops, fruit juice bars and that's about it.
It is very laid back, you can get ignored for a good half hour when you go in a place, could be annoying if you let it, but there is no rush to make money or create a good impression, which is refreshing in a way.
The other 4 Volunteers have all left so it is just me and Mermaid Sirena.
She was given that name by the locals because she body surfs with one fin, not seen that yet but sounds pretty cool.
She has created this incredible house through a fair amount of adversity and challenge, but she has persevered and her vision gets closer.
She was never destined to have children, so she wants to leave this mansion as a place in the Village for education, inspiration and Community.
She has an amazing vision for this fabulous space.
She was 50 when she decided to opt out the rat race, move to another Continent and live a completely different way of life from the Californian one.
She sees a place where people can come to the Village, learn, have fun, hang out, eat the amazing food, all fresh, organic, all Mother Natures way.
It is a simple, non consumer way to live that steeps you in Nature and a full blown Zen experience.
I so a few light chores here like curing the bamboo, varnishing and general cleaning up. The leaves and dust are daily due to the open plan of the house.
I went for a walk to Playa Negro, that famous black beach that some people were intent on destroying for the monetary value, and thankfully the locals managed to stop them, a big step against the machine, but one they won.
I never took any water so when I was walking back in the intense heat I stopped at a little bar for water. They didnt have any, only beer, so I sat with an ice cold beer and just enjoyed the vista.
There were 3 local guys shooting the breeze, laughing and also drinking beer. They smiled and waved over, and eventually one came over to chat. He had no English, my Spanish is getting better, but my ears arent.
I showed them my Babbel app on my phone, they were intrigued and tried to fill in the missing phrases and got it wrong every time.
This amused me, they don't speak or spell the way this app does, I have no idea what level of education they have.
The young boy was brilliant with me, he talked slowly, knew a few words in English, and listened intently.
He was so tiny behind the bar, but so switched on. Except I had given him 2 columbian coins and he was too polite to say!
Then an old English man appeared, started chatting, came over and joined us, me, Fabrizio and the 11 year old barman.
He told me not to trust them, great people but dont trust them.
That seemed like an oxymoron to me?
I avoid people I dont trust, so how does that work I asked him?
He just kept repeating the same thing, great, great people but dont trust them.
I decided to ignore it.
Are there more thieves here % wise, I have no idea, but I know enough about quantum physics to focus on the good.
There was a young girl (turns out she was 16) breast feeding her baby, standing by the guy who was sitting with the 2 others also enjoying a beer. He completely ignored her, and she just stood, the baby feeding, and I watched.
He had to be the father, boy I could feel for her, just a bit of attention, love, thought?
When the baby falls of her nipple I went over and gestured could I take her for a cuddle. She handed mye the gorgeous little girl and ran to the water for a swim.
The babies uncle Fabrizio managed to communicate to me that the baby always cried unless she was with her mum.
Fabrizio is my new Mompiche friend. He is very cute, super smiley, great surfer and keen to learn English, and it is his brothers child.
He is 18. He seems to have a very happy disposition.
So I walked the baby around for maybe 30-40 mins until she started griping again. The dad was watching me, I have no idea what he was thinking, but he started interacting with the mum, they laughed and clowned around and she seemed happier.
I handed her back, no words were exchanged.
Having little language is interesting, because you are guessing a lot of the time, what they are thinking and communicating.
Then before she left she came to me, held the baby out for a kiss, then she kissed me. I knew what she was saying, she appreciated the time.
It seems like you have gone back a hundred or so years here.
The women do the housework, get pregnant and that is their destiny.
They all have huge televisions, but I have no idea how much education that brings. It is defo a mans World here, the way it is in most places even to this day.
Lucky the Rise of the Divine Feminine is on.
Feel the fear and do it anyway
I decided to make a diversion to my orignial plans, to save me having to go in and out a city I really had no interest in visiting anyway, it was time for the beach. That meant that I was going to end up in a place called Esmeraldas, I reckoned I could get there in daylight, simply because everything you read said, don't go there, its dangerous.
I wake up at 7am desperate to get to the sea, and as I am heading out with my phone to take pics, the owner comes after me and tells me to hide it.
But he was actually looking after me.
Later on I am going to catch my bus to Mompiche, the owner takes his car out and takes me to the bus stop. Another gesture of kindness.
Im standing at the bus stop and this guy rocks up. Starts to chat, my best sentence now is I dont speak Spanish, that is my get out of jail free card. I do understand a bit, but when they speak fast, I am lost.
Then he buys me an ice lolly. Aww how nice as it is very hot. I look at the label horrified. But dont want to offend him, but I can clearly see the list of additives on the packet, arghhhh my cells contract lol.
Not for the first time this trip, I ate non food, willing my body to move it through and let it go.
He managed to explain to me he was one of the people who jump on and off the buses selling things.
He got on the bus that I was on. I then felt obliged to buy the thing he was selling. Fat free, sugar free and something else free wtf! It was a butterfly........
There are a ton of sweetie shops and things here, I saw about 15 stands all in a row in one village all selling exact same sweetie things. All beautifully laid out, I am not sure what the diabetes rate is here, but the additives are bonkers. I watched a guy in a previous hostel eat fluorescent pink yoghurt.
My food fear continues, need to do more tapping.
5 Story Bamboo Mansion
I had been looking into volunteering for a few reasons.
I wanted to stay in one place for a bit longer, I want to learn, give back and live cheaply to ensure I get the maximum time out of my trip.
I applied for a few places and got word back from and American woman who had built her dream bamboo house in a little fishing village on the Coast of Ecuador.
I liked the sound of it, so decided on a whim to go there. I then got other responses from cool places, I had to turn them down for now.
This continent is enormous, you meet so many fascinating people, who tell you their route, but its impossible to do it all in 6 months or so.
So you have to choose.
I decided I needed the beach, and I liked the sound of Sirena when she face timed me to tell me of her plans.
I was on a bus going to Quito with some friends I had met along the way, when I decided just to keep going and get as far as I could to the Coast.
Its so interesting here, you go up and down at altitude and the climate changes accordingly.
It was a long time on the bus, but for some reason its not bothering me at all, I did not expect to bus so much here, but the scenery is spectacular. And there is something about going over the land, you really see the Countryside and feel the distances under you..
I arrived in Mompiche, her directions were, get the bus here and then ask for Sirenas house. Hahaha and thats what I did.
Its a small town, a few cool bars and hostels along the beach and up the one main street. Its a surf town, I had not realised, I thought of my last surf lessons in Oz, the waves were much less scary here.
The tide comes right into the sea front and there are large sandy areas to each side, its uber cool.
I asked someone at a small cafe, and sure enough I got the directions to the biggest bamboo mansion I have ever seen. They told me you can miss it, its huge. It is, all five floors of it.
Sirena was there to welcome me, then we went on to a cocktail and dominoes and it felt like we had known each other for years.
She told me how she had dreamed this house when she was 21. It is totally amazing.
There are no windows or walls really, its like living in a giant tree house, and I have a platform on the 3rd floor where I wake up in the trees to the sounds of the birds and other things I have no idea what.
The house is still a work in progress, but that does not take away from its magnificence.
It may not be everyones cup of tea, its al fresco with Nature, but it is my idea of paradise.
It overlooks the river, and has high trees, some laden with fruit, all around. The dusk time is just jaw dropping, the colours, the noises, always been a favourite time of day for me, it is just wonderful here.
Sirenas longer term vision is that it will get used for Retreats.
Imagine that coiincidence.
How far can I realistically expect to hike?
Tbh I had not really thought much about hiking until I got here.
Sounds mental I know, but I was more transfixed on the beach.
I knew I was going to do Machu Pichu but just had not considered the altitude and my current fitness level and health.
For the last 5 years I have had aches and pains in my body that have curtailed and changed how I felt about fitness.
Everything was more of an effort.
I had attempted the Kintyre way and was stopped by an intense buring in my hips.
Nearly 7 years ago I had hiked for 11 hours up Muhavura an elevation of 4127 metres and much as it was gruelling, I had sharp agonising pains in my knees on the descent, for about the last 2 hours.
Both of these experiences came back to my mind as I looked at the volcanoes here, yearning to be at the top, but remembering that this old body might not make it now.
Nothing to do with my strength and cardio fitness, just body parts complaining, when they never used to.
Oh to be post menopausal, what a joy. Not.
I have been meditating on healing my body, and it is defo way better than it was, but to do a 7-8 hour hike at high altitude, I was not that confident.
Holly found a lake we could do. Around 4-5 hours, and foolishly I thought, well round a lake, it will be pretty flat, hahahaha it wasnt.
A 4-5 hour hike was the perfect "test" for my body, which it passed with flying colours.
Usually it is my lower back that gives me the most gyp, but not now. It is miles better.
The mind is an old bugger though, it was casting up all sorts of stories as to why I should not go, making me doubt mycellf, almost telling me to give up.
I was doing the exact thing that Hale Dwoskin and Dr Joe Dispenza tell you NOT to do.
I was dragging the past and throwing it into a perceived future.
Our trillions of cells regenerate on a moment to moment basis and there is no reason for us not to heal and prosper if we just release the old story and focus on a new one.
This is science, this is proven, we manipulate genetic expression with our thoughts, beliefs, perceptions and emotions.
We are powerful and have unlimited potential, but not if we stick to the old story.
I am focusing on a pain free, well oiled, high frequency body, if I do that often enough, repeat it over and over, guess what happens......
The journey South continues
Next stop Popayan.
I take the bus from Cali and it takes about 3 1/2 hours.
There are big buses and minibuses, not a huge difference in price, and I got accosted pretty much as soon as I arrived at the bus station and was in a minibus before I knew it.
Not knowing the language kind of leaves you at the mercy of whoever is there to bulldoze you along.
I had booked into the Arte Hostel which was walking distance so I hiked my way there.
I met 2 English girls there, which turned out to be an enormous stroke of luck which I was yet to understand.
There was a hill a few hundred metres from the Hostel and we took a beer up to watch sunset.
On the way back we were lured into a local bar by bright coloured lights and good music. We ended up staying there for quite a while as a band came on to entertain us and a bunch of locals gave us shots of the local hooch.
A few days there then on to Ipieles which is the border town.
I left Popayan early in the morning as the bus was 8 hours and I wanted to be tired.
An hour into the journey I realised I had left my UK plug, camera and kindle charger and batter pack charging on the wall.
I knew that Holy, one of the English girls was maybe coming the next day, so I thought I would get her to take it or have it, if we could not meet up.
I got a nice hotel there, got a good rest to face the border crossing which we had heard brutal stories of up to 16 hour queues.
Holly was arriving the next day around lunchtime, so I decided to wait on her and get my things. There are tons of shops and a market so I went out to shop, only to realise that my card no longer worked. Long story short I had to order new pin numbers for my new cards, and they had obviously cancelled my old one.
Holy shit. WTF.
Then I thought about Holly, she would have a UK account, I could charge my laptop when she arrived and transfer the money and she could pull it out, if she was willing.
I messaged her, she was totally cool, said we would work something out.
I remembered that to set up a new recipient they would call you with a code. I had no signal. Ahhh Nicky I thought, she said she would sort it out. Great. TheN Holly arrived and her account is in Spain. Nicky would have to go to a bank to do it.
This was Wednesday and I had 2 more days for the pin numbers to arrive before the weekend would finish that plan and I would have not access to cash until the Monday.
Holly paid my meal, bus, coffees etc and then in Ecuador lent me $50.
A total godsend.
We arrive in Otovalo Ecuador and meet another English girl, who is also happy to help me as putting the money into her account would be easier
Then the pin number arrived and I got cash out, OMG did it feel good.
4 days here in Otovalo and money to pay for it and spend on their famous market.
I seriously do not have enough clothes, I really had not packed for the Mountains, God knows why. No yoga outfit of any description either, so that had to be sorted.
It is an gorgeous little town with an indigenous population in traditional dress.
A lot of the women carry their babies tied on their backs as they did in Uganda, but there are also fancy buggies too.
The people are tiny and fascinating to look at, I would love to take pics of their beautiful faces and clothes but it seems rude.
The market is colourful, wonderful, busy, crazy and I am so tempted to buy for my grandkids and friends kids, but I understand it will all be cheaper in Peru, plus I wont need to cart it around.
Put Otovalo on your route if you are coming this way, there are beautiful hikes too, and it is just fascinating to people watch.
Cali is cool
Cali the World Salsa Capital
I decided to head South and finish the North of Colombia later, before I go to Mexico. My friends have a yacht in Cartagena and hope to be out there in April May, so I am planning to be in that region then.
Your visa only lasts 90 days, so mine will get renewed when I return.
I went to Cali, because it's on the way to Ecuador and Peru.
I had never heard of it, so I asked other travellers what they reckoned.
Prepare to get diverse and opposing opinions.
The girl who led the walking tour in Bogota asked me how many nights I would have here and when I said three she looked at me and said most people only have one.
So I went there with low expectations.
Cali far exceeded my expectations.
There seems to be more money here, gyms, clubs, bars, the river regeneration.
They have planted or left over 300 000 trees in and around the city, and they are protected!.
Their understanding of the land far outweighs ours.
People on mountain bikes, nice motor bikes, cars, clean streets and the usual Starbucks, Dunkin donuts and Subway.
Subway is everywhere.
And phones. Hell yeah, is that not how we measure wealth now, by the phones everyone has.
There is wifi, no worse than Canada and Argyll, everywhere here.
Walking along the river yesterday I noticed, as in the UK everyone is on their phone.
In Bogota there are police, army and security, muzzled dogs and a guards literally on every corner.
You are constantly reminded that you are being protected by these very brave individuals.
Its not like that in Cali. The security firm on the river is private, they wear blue t shirts and blend in with the crowd. There are police here everywhere but it is not nearly as in your face as it is in Bogota. Either way you know they are desparate to keep you safe, to stop crime, and you feel really grateful for that.
And the people here just get on with their lives, hopeful, happy, dancing, singing with a focus only on a prosperous and safe future.
We could do with more of that.
There is also hardly any smell here, unlike some Countries. You see heaps of rubbish on the street, but maybe its the temperature or that fact it is not there for long that it does not matter.
I have to be totally honest here, I am a foody along with being a nutrition twat, and the food scares me..
Tons of carbs, plantain, tatties, fried god knows what, rice, sugar in everything and for a post menopausal granny, this is not good. I have tapped it through and meditated on my blood sugar, as this is actually a real consideration for me.
But I like eating out.
If I buy food and cook in the hostel, it is much more social and healthy, to date only had 4 meals home made.
I much prefet to eat out.
Loads of pop, coke, diluted juice, I think fruit then a ton of granulated sugar.
You get a juice with any meal you order, and you have no idea whats in it.
Maybe a good thing.
Cali is a huge sugar cane providers, but it was the same in Bogota. I think they maybe copy the US with the sugar and everything mentalness.
Street food have bbq's, hot stands and fryers, I had the worst corn on the cob I have ever tasted, actually inedible, I had to throw it away.
Often there is only salt on the table, if that. You get lots of soups and fried chicken, but they usually need salt.
For someone who loves Indian, Mexican and thai food it can be a bit bland.
I know some people say they love SA food, but to date that is defo not my experience.
I have gone to nice places and had salmon or a steak, but you pay what you would at home for it, so not really possible to sustain that if you are away for 9 months.
But there are amazing fruits and veggies to be had at the markets so I have no excuse.
Its the same at home, even although we grow amazing food, we don't always eat it.
I need to cook and chop more.
And I want to speak fluent Spanish.
And dance like these dudes.
Walking tour and Police museum
The Walking Tour
There is a gorgeous girl comes round the hostel everyday to tell travellers about the FREE walking tour. Its not free, but they dont tell you that till you get to the square then other gorgeous girl with a yellow umbrella tells you she recommends a donation of 30 000 pesos about $12 which is a lot of money out here. Clearly nothing if you are on holiday, but if you are long term travelling that could be a days keep.
Me and 2 young American girls from the hostel go along for the 3 hour walking tour.
It was really good fun. They took us to different places to promote the local juices, coca leaves, coffee and chicha(local brew) but it was super interesting learning about their amazing fruits, their health properties and the huge benefits of the coca leaf from a nutrition and healing perspective, how they ferment for alcohol and making great coffee from a barista.
We also learned the story behind some of the incredible grafittis on the walls, more info on the infamous Pablo Escabar and some of the fascinating history which I ofcourse have already forgotten.
She asked us if we had seen Narcos.
She recommended the place we tried the chicha for lunch, so a bunch of us went back there and had a great 3 course lunch for only 800 pesos (about 20p).
A few of us then went for a beer, and what a laugh we had in this crazy little bar place. The cool thing about travelling is hearing others stories and getting to know like minded individuals. An American, English, German, Dutch and Scots. Fun combo.
THE POLICE MUSEUM
The next day some of us met up and we went to the Police museum. This was uber interesting, even for me who is not interested in museums.
It was a policewoman who did the tour, it is an incredibly dangerous job here, she said people hate her but she wants her children to grow up in peace and without landmines and bombs.
She is prepared to put her life on the line for that. Truly humbling.
She also asked us if we had seen Narcos?
She showed us the machine for detecting the mines, the Harley Davidson and other stuff that got confiscated after Pablo was arrested. He was clearly living the dream, holy shit. She talked about the operations, the arrests, the corruption and the hopes for change, she was quite an incredible lady.
She explained how many police have died, the guns the cartel have, how the peace process has divided the Country, how they have to wear a bullet proof vest and which guns will kill them quickest.
Its surreal to think this is how people are living.
But fantastic to see it change.
She was warm and witty, strong and hopeful, my God I think living in peace surely is our greatest gift?
It reminded me of a young guy I met in Malta from Eretreya.
He told his friend, "let's go to Europe, I hear they live in Peace there."
That hit home to me.
Candelaria - Bogotas West End
I get to the hostel after a mild haggle with taxi driver and although its before check in they have a really cool hang out area, inside and out, and you can leave your rucksack in the back.
I went on the roof and was immediately invited to join a couple, one English guy and one American gal. We drank beer together and chatted and I felt very relaxed, it is really beautiful on that roof, with the high mountains in the background.
They left to go on a bike tour and I decided to go for a walk. I was in the Candelaria area, totally by luck, not design, the best place to hang out, tons of cool wee local bars, colourful shops along with cheap and more expensive coffee shops and restaurants.
I wandered around, then heard loud music coming out of a local taverna, and went in for a drink. Then I saw the Rob and Rebecca from the hostel and shouted them in.
There was a table of young guys and gals right beside us. They were drinking a carton of stuff along with their beer, it tasted kind of like sambuca. They handed us some shots over, we bought them beer back and the singing, dancing and silly selfies started.
We were having great fun, language no apparent barrier, until we realised that Rebeccas bag was gone.
Now theft has played a big part in my life recently. My daughter was robbed weekly in her business, my friends came from Canada to mountain bike and had their very precsious mountain bikes stolen on the last day, and now Rebeccas bag was gone.
From right under our noses.
We were in a corner, had put the bags beside us where you would have thought they were 100% safe.
Was it when we were taking pics?
Was it when she was at the tiny wee stinking toilet?
There were 2 cctv cameras pointed on us, they could defo see who had taken it if they worked? The young guys beside us were upset too, the police were called but deep down we knew nothing would happen.
In her bag was 1 card, her phone and her waterproof jacket, it could have been worse.
But we all know our phone is the most precious commodity these days, not because of the value, but its our contact to everything.
Then mental thing was my small osprey back pack was right there too, and because I had not yet bought a padlock, I had everything in there, stupidly thinking it would be safer with me. My iphone, my new camera, my passport and all my cards and cash. Holy shit, that was soooooo close.
We all know material things can be replaced, but theft does way more damage than that. I changes how you feel about people and places. I know how I felt in Argyll, so hurt by how my daughter had been taken advantage of, money stolen from the salon, plus her tip box saving for Disney with the kids, I wanted to leave and never come back.
Then the overwhelming support from the community reminds you that most people are good.
I know when Lesley and Paulas bikes got stolen, they were furious at Scotland. What a betrayal after such an incredible trip, on the last day too. They too then experienced the support when their facebook appeal found the guys who had stolen the bikes, everyone was truly gutted for them, if you are a biker especially, you will understand the value of a bike you have built. But again the police, could not or would not do anything to bring them to justice or get the bikes back.
Same as Rebecca, there were 4 men just sitting watching us, someone knew who it was. We were backed in a corner, it could have been a member of staff? Someone turned a blind eye.
I wonder where that gets you dear Universe?
A fact of getting robbed.
It changes how you feel about a place and the people in it.
You wonder who all is involved and who is staying dumb. You wonder who you can trust and who you cant, and it is not a nice way to live your life.
Coming to Colombia, every single person tells you to be careful and keep safe. The young guys we were with, messaged the next day, apologising, saying how sorry they were, one came up to the hostel to make sure Rebecca was ok. I told them it happens in our village, in our County too, I think it happens in most places.
Its sad you need to be so vigilant, it actually pisses me off. (release)
If people didn't steal we would not need keys, passwords, zipped bags and jackets.
How much easier my life would be.
I know it is not personal, I understand we have been conditioned by our ancestors, childhood and environment, I get that they have their own issues, it's not my drama.
But in the ideal world, I would not have thieves, and evil in general.
In the 5th dimension there will be none of that nonsense :)
Bogota is such an interesting and amazing place, but the warnings of others ring in your ears, be vigilant, don't wander about at night, keep everything on you hidden, they may have knives and guns, its dangerous at night and so on.
I have been releasing on other peoples points of view, its the perfect place to practise, because you keep getting them, over and over.
I felt completely safe and tbh they are tiny, you feel you could outrun or wrestle them if push came to shove.
Then I walked out a restaurant yesterday and left my phone on the table........
When I ran back it was their, they had kept it for me.
Again showing me how many good people there are.
The good massively outweighs the bad.
The Colombian people are trying very hard to change the reputation of their Country.
What an awesome attitude, I am humbled by their spirit.
They have hope, and guts and a stunningly beautiful landscape.
I AM excited to see more.
I left Glasgow at 7am with the red eye down to London.
From getting on the bus in Lochgilphead to Glasgow I could feel mycellf getting excited.
With the stuff that I teach, that excitement means you are following the right path. So bring it!
Brekkie in Gatwich at 9.30am then straight to Barcelona where the fun began.
American entry visa ESTA
Do you have an ESTA the nice lady at the check in asked?
Hmmm my heart starts to sink, nope. But I do have at ETA which is the Canadian equivalent, so I knew roughly what she was talking about. You need to get one online she told me and luckily I had plenty of time, 5 hours, famous last words.
My passport was issued in France when I was living in Malta and I am a UK citizen. So it kept rejecting my details. Another super helpful girl phoned the boss in Madrid, sent pics of what was happening, while I just stood thinking, not for the first time in my life, what an idiot I was. I had booked with a company called Kiwi travel, paid £368 for the 4 flights and it said it looked like no visa was required. Small print issue maybe.
So I stood for 4 hours, then another uber friendly woman said, just lie basically, and put it all through as the UK. Hey presto it went through great relief, but then said pending......godammit....
Now the gate was closing, so they decided to try and put it in their system to see what it said, and PING it came through.
Literally on that last minute. I grabbed the girl and hugged her, they were all laughing and delighted that plan B, which I had not made yet, was not necessary.
I am uber tired by this point and starving. So get mycellf to the gate and as I approached I thought I heard them saying my name in a very strong Spanish accent. WTF I thought. So went over and the guy apologetically told me my name along with 6 others had been randomly chosed for another luggage check and that they would hold the plane up while this happened (American law, Donald fecking Trump) . Just before a 10 hour flight... great.
Not even a second to grab a sandwich so I internally raged about Donald Trump and the US as I was not ever going there, just passing through.
Its not terrorists these eejits will stop its tourists.
This took another hour. Unbelievable. The new American laws are reaching out and affecting people who dont even work there or even want to go there, but have to land on their soil to get where they want to go.
US Borders have just got bigger
AND!!! You must have an exit flight. Fair enough, BUT they include Cuba, the Caribean islands, Mexico and Canada in their exit flight catchment. That means if you are going to any of these Countries via the US, you must have an exit flight.
They have extended their area right out, the staff at the airport have to follow the laws but you could tell how pissed off they were too as another couple going to Mexico with no exit flight were not allowed on either. I mean seriously. Assholes.
I made way wearily back to the gate and here are the 3 women that helped me, they all shouted at the same time "Lilia, what has happened" and I explained I was randomly chosen, they all hugged me and apologised and wished me a great trip. And that made up for all the hassle.
I flew Norweigan airways. You never quite know what you will get when you dont read the small print, just book the cheapest price. So I was pleasantly surprised. Had a small screen in front, but the shittest pile of movies and docs I have ever seen, totally unwatchable, and I tried but got bored half way through. But I smiled when I realised you could go on and order some snacks, remember I was starving, run a tab on your tablet, order whatever you wanted and they brought it to you. That was handy. Not the kind of food I wanted, but got some salad and cashew along with my cheese toasty. I missed the meal thing, I could have pre ordered, but again the small print. A 10 hour flight has to be broken up with good movies and food in my opinion.
But it was comfy enough and I slept a good 6 hours, so happy days. Buenos dias.
I practised my spanish on my new babbel app, that is a lot of fun.
I was so looking forward to getting into Fort Lauderdale and getting and good meal and a glass of wine. Oh oh, what a disappointment that airport is. One tiny wee coffee shop that did not even have any sit in. A fairly basic chicken caesar and I bedded down for the night on a bench, which was actually fine.
I woke around 4am and got through security, towards what I had hoped would be a good brekkers, not to be but eventually I got on my flight to Bogota.
I arrived in airport and looked round for a taxi or shuttle, to be met with a wee guy offering me a cab. I knew what this meant, rip off, but Im tired and hot now, so I thought fuck it.
We negotiate in the most ludicrous way, and came to some agreement I think. I only had 50 million pound notes, so you can imagine. He drives like a real loony, kind of like Malta, busy roads, tooting the horn with nothing to be gained. I mentally think about my insurance. The bus lanes have an actual small concrete division, which it could be easy to hit, anyway Im here to tell the tale..
Hostel Botanica was a welcome site, and it was one of my great decisions. I am not sure what tactic I used to pick it, but it worked.
I sat down with a beer and viewed the incredible mountains on one side, and the city stretched on on the other, boy did it feel good.
The adventure has begun.
A fab venue on the Southside of Glasgow is about to materialise
One of the most amazing things about organising the Goddess Gathering, is the fantastic women who have come towards me.
One of them is this shining, pro active Goddess, Vicky Kakos, the creator of
"The Wee Retreat".
The concept is that we can have "wee" Retreats every day instead of thinking that we need to leave the Country etc in order to fulfill our spiritual, health and happiness needs.
Vicky has taken on the Goddess collaboration and got some of us together last week, to get to know each other, share ideas and do a bit of a brainstorming.
We all felt the energy, bounced ideas off each other and decided to meet on a regular basis.
We understand the huge importance of support, like minds, collaboration and cooperation, plus it is just fun.
Vicky then shared her great news.
She has faced her fears and put out a call to create a "Wee Retreat" venue in the South side of Glasgow. There is always a lot going on in the West End, Vickys mission is to bring this amazing facility to the South side.
The venue is available and she has created a crowdfunding campaign to buy this venue which will be a focal point for therapists, therapies, workshops, courses and any kind of Wee Retreat that you can think of.
As we have this shift in consciousness it is essential for us to meditate, educate and liberate ourcellves through learning and being with other like minded souls.
This venue will help this tremendously.
We need to recreate communities, support, collaborate and cooperate with each other.
The shift is on.
This will help us to make the transition so much more playful and rewarding along with being much less stressful.
Creating a community on the Southside of Glasgow is an idea worth sharing.
Please go here and listen to her video and see if you can help in any way.
Its nearly 12 months since I first met Sabrina.
She moved into my home and went on the Gerson protocol to try and heal her disease. Diagnosis stage 4 ovarian cancer.
She had been through 2 rounds of chemo, radiation and 2 operations along with weeks in the local asylum due to a reaction to steroids.
This culminated on her being on 2 anti depressants, 1 anti psychotic and a tranquilizer when she arrived to stay with me.
You can never come off this medication she was told.
6 weeks later she was off all meds.
Not something we recommend to everyone, but she felt she could and she did.
She listened to her intuition.
During this time she learned a lot about her body, mind and soul and started to feel better than she had for years.
Her candida level was through the roof and she got that under control in weeks too.
In January she went to the Budwig Centre in Spain and changed her protocol.
She loved the medical staff there, they were super supportive and said she was presenting more like a stage 1 than a stage 4.
On her return from there the "swing" of hope between "you can heal" and "you cannot heal" really started.
Yes you can.
No you cannot.
Holistic versus Allopathic, as if it is a competition.
2 diametrically opposing points of view, both delivered with equal certainty.
You can heal.
You are dying.
I teach all my client to come out of victim mode and stand in their power.
To take full responsibility for their choices so that blame is not part of your dialogue, thought field or emotional response, because it is completely unhelpful.
Unfortunately, even today, our choices can be limited and made for us due to our financial situation and the fear of being broke in the future due to not being able to work or contribute.
So why go to a place where they insist on telling you to accept you are dying, even when you have categorically told them not too?
Why go to a place that quite literally terrifies the living daylights out of you?
Her belly was swelling and retaining fluid which caused her intense discomfort and pain.
To get it drained in a private hospital was over 1 thousand euros. In the NHS hospital it is free, which sadly, is a huge determining factor for most of us.
The allopathic opinion is that she is terminal, ie no hope of a cure.
The holistic opinion is that she can heal, but she has to follow the protocol. This is not as easy as it seems.
Who do you believe?
For the last 9 months it has been an emotional roller coaster.
On a daily basis I have tried to keep her spirits up, release the fear of the allopathic opinion and the force of their might and apparent desire to be right.
Its a huge wave that overwhelms and brings her under, and I have thought often, is she strong enough to believe her way out of their heavy oppression?
I have an innate fury at the fear in our current system having watched loved ones die in it for years.
I don't blame the Doctors and nurses, but know that Big Pharma, one of the richest companies in the world does not always have our best interests at heart.
And our reluctance to open our eyes to the latest, cutting edge science which clearly teaches us about epigenetics and the incredible power of belief to change our chemistry, biology and electro magnetic body.
The power of our mind is completely ignored in Western medicine and is actually used against us, telling us we are powerless, when nothing could be further from the truth.
I know, like many others that we can heal ourcellves.
Not everyone will heal, for now we are still trying to unravel why some do and some do not.
We cannot measure as yet, someones innate faith and compliance to the programme in terms of beliefs, perceptions, limitations, subconscious traumas, inherited or created, and the force of their intentions.
And this is where it all starts and ends.
Its not a belief it's a knowing, Kelly Turners brilliant book "Radical Remissions".clears that up with no doubt.
Healing is a potential in the Field, a possibility for all of us, no matter what the so called experts say.
Documented cases of people who were sent home to die and chose not to.
Why is this not being brought into our hospitals?
What about the power of others beliefs can stop you from healing and can actually kill you.
That may sound dramatic, but we know it to be.
Taking away all hope kills.
Lack of support kills.
It is totally mental and we will be appalled at how we aquiesced, giving away our power, in the future.
Sabrina has been verbally abused by well meaning medics and continuously bullied to "face reality" that she is dying and cannot heal herself.
Even if that was true, which it is not, I still question the morale ethics of pushing this one sided, outdated, untrue version of reality down someones throat, especially when you have specifically asked them not to.
Treat the fluid in the belly she asked, but please do not tell me I am dying.
This was totally ignored, and even writing this makes me fume, I have to release and accept this system the way it is.
Dr Bruce Lipton & Dr Joe Dispenza to name only 2 of the most advanced scientists on the Planet have proven categorically that our beliefs, words, perceptions, emotions and actions impact our health.
That we manipulate genetic expression with all of the above. That we are "above" the genes, epigenetics. That we are electro magnetic beings as well and chemical and biological beings.
That we can literally "tune in" to different data streams via the brain waves and heart coherence, to an unseen intelligence that knows how our cells should be arranged.
That healings can take place in real time when the internal and external enviroments are aligned.
This is a game changer.
Yet we are still telling people they are going to die. Destroying their hope.
But the big question here is, are people dying because the Doctors and telling them they are going to?
The nocebo effect. Hexing. Black Magic?
Does anyone on this Planet have the right to tell you when they believe you are going to die? Is this playing God in the most hideous way?
When science clearly tells us that our beliefs create our biology.
There maybe no drug to heal the cancer, but there are plenty of other ways you can enhance and enrich your health and happiness and most of them are not available on the NHS.
Just for today can we allow love to flow no matter what we think we see in a test or scan.
Do we need to use fear to force our ideas and beliefs on others, that might decimate their lives and that of their families and friends?
None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, not one single one of us.
What does success mean in terms of healing?
An extra day? Week? Year? Decade?
Who gets to decide?
Should we be giving treatments that cause suffering when they are non curative, and should patients and staff be fully educated on all the new science and different protocols that people who have defied the odds used?
This closed system needs to be opened up, we need to share all the possible treatments and give people every possible chance to learn about their bodies and lives.
We need to break free of the stranglehold and business that keeps us stuck in the past.
Sorry I digress, Sabrina.
I flew over to visit her beginning of July. Her dad picked me up at the airport so we went straight there.
She started a plant based treatment 2 weeks before and had been sleeping a lot.
She was lying on the sofa and was clearly very fatigued. I sat with her, did some hands on healing, then left her sleeping while her dad and I went for a swim.
When I returned 3 days later it was more of the same, she was totally out of it, and struggled to stay awake even for a few minutes to talk to me.
She was thin, but that is not always a bad thing, she had no appetite, but was getting constantly nagged to eat, which was doing her head in.
Again I just did some hands on healing,and wondered if there was any way she was ever going to come back from this.
But for some reason I just felt everything was ok, I prayed, released and asked for clear guidance on being the best help I could be for her higher good.
I felt so much for her dad, he is amazingly positive but of course was having black thoughts of what might be.
The day before I left I went back over not expecting anything, just wanting to sit with her, pray and ask and listen and see.
She looked completely different. She had not taken the oil that morning, so was not in that coma like state. She was alert and pleased to see me, like she just truly realised that I was there.
She has a drain in her belly that she can use herself, this saves her going back to hospital and into the fear. This is common with ovarian cancer. She was still draining a lot of fluid off, but even when her belly went down she was still getting beaten by the pain.
To her the pain was a definite sign of dying, and no matter how much we released on that belief, she was still holding on to it.
I opened a short book that my friend Brenda Campbell a cancer survivor has written and given to me to take over. I read it to her and we laughed as she agreed with everything on the list that she was trying to control.
Part of healing for a lot of us is letting go of wanting control.
Then we went to the beach, me Sab and her dad.
Sab and I hung out in the Med, one of our fave things to do.
We chatted and ruminated, she talked about dying and getting her will sorted, she had been in so much pain and was so fed up of being in bed that the best way out seem to be death.
I was still not so sure, but had to visit that possibility that she seemed hell bent on.
In the sun and sea she relaxed and said she felt better than she had for weeks.
I treasured that time wondering if I would see her again.
Just for today, everything was perfect, for me at least.
She seemed to have given up all hope and was accepting what the doctors had told her would happen. They had given her 2 months.
That was about 4 months ago.
I left, still with a strong feeling she could do it, and releasing all my fear around the story.
We have an ongoing joke about her being a big baby when things, and the body does not go her way. When she plays the victim. And when she rises back up I call her Sabrina Latina, this is the feisty, strong, determined, funny girl that I know.
I know both, we all have these sides, but it makes me sad when she is sad, so I try to bring out Latina, the courageous rule breaker and survivor.
She has already outlived her prognosis by miles. She has already succeeded in so many ways, she is a much wiser and emotionally intelligent, self aware person now, she has worked on herself relentlessly, going through a mammoth set of ups and downs, a story that is beyond incredible and God know where it will take us.
She was much brighter when I left, and then a bit sad after.
But she seemed to turn a bit of an attitude and perception corner.
My friend Ilenya who is an access consciousness expert had also done some intense work with her, asking her to choose what she truly wanted, life or death.
Then there was the plant based oil, helping her to sleep, calming her mind, assisting in pain control, then there was the sun and the sea.
What if any or all of these things helped her?
I messaged her on tuesday the way I do every morning asking how she was and the first word came back, "great"!. My heart sang, she had not felt like that for months.
She had her hair cut short and dyed purple. She had organised to rent a mobility scooter as she does not have enough energy for the heat and crowds.
She had the hospis nurses over and they had given her great advice and a day out which was a brilliant distraction.
Her cousins were coming from Oz and it was her precious feast.
She is like a different person.
Her mindset, perceptions, attitude has totally changed.
She has dipped down occasionally, but we catch a hold of it and I make her laugh by getting her tapping on being a big baby.
The pain is still present, seems to be worse at sunrise and sunset, but she is dealing with it now and not making a black story up about it.
There has only been 200mls of fluid from her belly in over 2 weeks, this is indeed a miracle.
But most importantly of all she is happier, she has dreams and she has hope.
Just for today.
That's all any of us can wish for.
Then the pain got worse again, bringing in more panic.
A trip to Gozo, total change of enviroment and she is back on it.
Then the pain comes back, the mind kicks in again and the rollercoaster continues, but she is handling the mind way better now and knows what she has to do.
Please send all your love and prayers her way.