What is the body doing, who and what do you believe? How can you stay in FAITH when all apparent evidence is pointing to fear.
What a rollercoaster this journey has been and is. It was only 7 months ago that I met this firecracker but boy does it seem like a lifetime of experiences and emotions.
Recap on her history, 2 operations, 2 chemotherapies and 1 radiation for stage 4 ovarian cancer. Admitted to Mount Carmel (asylum) due to major sensitivity to chemotherapies and put on 4 different drugs for depression and psychosis.
The only option, from the allopathic perspective, was more of the same a 3rd chemo, another large operation to remove more of her intestines and maybe organ parts. Going to the UK for “special chemo” and to see if the surgeon there would undertake the operation, if he felt it would be humane and worthwhile.
To try something a third time that had not worked the first two seemed strange to me. I told her if she was my daughter I would suggest Gerson, at least try it for 6 weeks to see how it feels, then take it from there
I then offered her a room at my place to help her through the detox. We then discussed blogging the journey, and whether we should "wait" until she healed or do it in real time. We both felt it would be more powerful in real time, so went ahead and started making videos and blogs.
My neck and reputation I knew I was putting my neck on the line. Putting mycellf up for potential judgement and criticism. I just knew, hand on heart, if it was one of my kids, that is what I would recommend. But taking a total stranger into your home? First of all I am not the most tolerant person in the World, and I did not know her from Adam. From that perspective it was completely illogical. Secondly, what if she died? What would that mean for me? Was I seriously not going to help her because of fear of approval from others? I felt we had to try, it felt right, it was meant to be. I also thought, if she was my blood daughter, I would want quality for her, for however long she had left, and that we could journey with this sick body and learn from it, priceless, life giving information.
People asked her "who is she"? What are her qualifications? That place is not a certified clinic (Wardija)
Even when I started the gofundme someone suggested to her that I might keep the money. She has also been criticized for "travelling", a visit to Spain and Scotland to keep her spirits up. This is just part of stepping out and trying to do something that most others would never consider doing. Prepare to be judged. Prepare for the oppression. And follow your heart. That is what I did.
Sabrina jumped at the idea, she did not want chemo, had never wanted it, but had never felt supported to try any other options. From my perspective it is never about "not dying". I can never promise what is going to happen in someones life, even if they follow the protocols to the letter. Things can go terribly wrong, or right, I don't get to decide. The Allopathic system cannot guarantee anything either, but we accept that. For me it's about living without fear. Choosing and being part of your healing and your life journey. Discovering what we can, allowing the body a chance, trusting. We know when we let go of our fear of death often we heal. I find that slightly ironic. But boy can fear grip, surrender can be impossible to some.
Week 1 After a brutal week of detoxing she came back to life, and over the next 2 months felt better than she had in years. Most days I made all her juice for her, so all she had to do was drink it. She resisted that a bit too, but I hardballed her and educated her on the process as we went along. She soon stopped complaining and started enjoying the juice. Make no mistake Gerson is a hard diet to follow. gerson.org/gerpress/ Life without the Maltese Ftira had begun. But it works, how much do you want to live? She then did my Immersion Retreat, participated in the entire programme and had a real breakthrough on the emotional stuff, it was brilliant to watch. The first time we talked she thought life without a ftira (white Maltese bread) would not be worth living, now she was dancing and laughing, like a new person. I left Malta at the beginning of November and she moved back home, and was left to her own devices.
Holistic perspective The holistic model looks at physical, emotional and spiritual health. The allopathic looks at symptoms and tries to eliminate them with drugs and surgery. Totally opposing ways of dealing with the body. One from the old Newtonian physics, one from the new understanding of quantum physics. Sometimes you need both. Most of my clients combine treatments, you need to do what you believe will make you well again. Every single one of us is different, and everyone who has defied the odds has done it in a different way. You have to work with the belief system and perspective that you are in. This will change and evolve during your healing journey, but it is a fully personal journey. It can be very difficult to listen to your intuition when everyone is shouting at you to follow theirs. By the end of the year she felt she needed to do more, was struggling on her own so I set up a go fund me to help her find the external support she so desperately needed.
Budwig and Gerson Sabrina wanted to go to Gerson in Hungary in January. She applied, got all the tests sent to them, then called me very angry and disappointed that they had rejected her. She had put a lot of store in this. I had told her if they said no it was because there was another, better way for her to heal. But she was determined to go somewhere in January and was very stressed with the news.
When I read the letter from Gerson, some days later, they had not rejected her. They wanted to get her over for the day, do a series of tests, teach her the protocol then get her back in 3 months for the full detox programme. They were concerned that her elimination organs would be compromised, which made complete sense to me, but hot headed Latina had other ideas. Gerson seemed to have made that decision based on the extra stress of the psychiatric drugs she had been on. Drugs she had been told she could never come off, but had, during her time in Wardija. This sent her on another path.
Budwig She then went online and contacted Budwig in Spain. The Sunday she sent the email, the Doctor from there called her personally. She was stoked and organised to go there. He was very positive and her experience there was fantastic. They told her she was more like a stage 1 than 4 and congratulated her on her body and how she was looking and feeling so well. She changed onto the Budwig diet, which has linseed and quark or cottage cheese for rebalancing the gut and started their regime of detox machines, EFT, herbs bachs, remedies and supplements. www.budwigcenter.com/ I wondered how she would be when she got back to the real world again. During her time in Spain her belly got swollen again. I immediately assumed it was the change of diet, I had wondered how it would work for her, but I trusted Sabrinas intuition and that this part of the journey was the right one for her. We know that one of the steps in Kelly Turners book Radical Remissions, is "listening to your intuition." Often that means doing things others may not agree with. We are all filtering through the past, our individual past.
The belly She was given some machines and a protocol to do at home. All based around detoxing and helping the body release toxicity, parasites and bacteria. During the years she had been attending the Doctor before they diagnosed her, she had huge problems with a distended belly. I suspected candida, and sure enough her level was very high. During Gerson her belly reduced and she started to enjoy the new flatter version, but to this day she sees it as her evidence of being well or sick. We spend a lot of time letting go of her judgement of the belly. Not long after she was home her belly was giving her discomfort, Budwig said this is a normal part of the healing and recommended she come off the quark, thinking she could be lactose intolerant. This concerned me a bit, I like a strict structure for healing, no grey areas, I know Budwig has huge success, but again my conditioning did not see cheese as part of a healing diet. When you start deviating from the path, you don't know where you really are, whether the protocol is working, and you can lose your way. Anyway they were now taking responsibility for her nutrition, something I was happy to hand over. Every radical remission had a different diet, but the main things were no wheat, no sweet, no meat and no dairy. I am sure there are people who are healed who have deviated from this, it is impossible to measure the impact our feelings and beliefs are having on our chemistry too. But find a plan and stick to it. Charlotte Gerson is adamant and forcefull about this too. And it can take time, a lot of it, over 2 years in some cases. Anyone who has been on any kind of diet will know, you cannot start cheating, it all falls apart.
My beliefs and programming I am aware I am programmed and trained to think that Gerson is the way for serious cancers, so I am very aware of putting my concepts, that may or may not be true, on others. I fully understand 1 diet does not fit all, I personally liked Nicholas Gonzalez work, he had 10 different diets ranging from raw vegan to ketogenic. You need a diet that works, but you also need a diet you can do.
Enter Joe Dispenenza - ALCHEMY AND OUR INTERNAL POWER
In July 2016 about 3 months before meeting Sabrina I discovered the work of Dr Joe Dispenza. He introduced me and most of my close circle of friends to the concept of healing by thought alone.
When we change the frequency of our brains, our electromagnetic field, our thinking and emotions, we can heal. Our bodies are light and information. Disease is a darkening and a lowering of frequency. Healing is raising the vibration and letting in more light. We have the power to release the past and change the information in the body. We all have this power within, but most of us do not all have the skill yet. You need to practise, you need to break the old habits of being yourcellf. This takes incredible discipline, will, practice, repetition and most of all FAITH. If you do not believe you can do it you will not go to the bother of learning. What Joe does is gives us the science, the measurements, and brings the people on stage who have already done it. One women healed stage 4 ovarian with her mind alone. No change in diet, but she went into meditation 6 hours a day. She changed the chemistry and frequency in her body, and it healed. We all have the power to do this. Joe has thousands of these stories now.
Common people doing the uncommon thing I know our DNA is affected by our beliefs, have known that for years. Dr Bruce Lipton wrote Biology of Belief years ago and has been trying to get the fact out that we are the Master not the victim of our genes. We are operating from outdated science, Greg Braden also bangs on about that. www.youtube.com/watch?v=-t1hGosvUus What I did not fully realise is that we can overide the chemistry of food, exercise, the past, disease and all abuses with the power of our minds. I knew conceptually that you could expand at a cellular level and release the past, the past that drowns and depresses our immune system. What I did not know was that someone was teaching how to do it, measuring it, and repeating it, every single workshop. Imagine how exciting that was for me? When we learn how to transmute energy, pilot our pineal and pituatiry glands, we can overide all old programmes and heal anything and everything.
The Church Another strange thing that happened was I ended up doing a church course on emotional baggage with a friend of my sisters. The information is identical to Dr Joes, he just uses different language. The Quantum Field becomes God. www.impactministries.com/about-jim/ The labels and words are irrelevant to me, I can choose to believe its a coincidence or a very large, important message coming my way, to help me and my clients.
Hospitalised Sabrinas belly became large, uncomfortable and distended. Budwig said it was normal and to stick to the protocol, the body was healing. The allopathic Doctors said it was a progression of the disease and offered palliative care. Interestingly enough my body was doing something similar. Not fluid retention, but discomfort, aches, I knew something was going on, I joked with her to sort her belly out and I was sure mine would balance too. But eventually it became too much for her and she decided to go private to get some advice. She wanted a Doctor who did not know her story and could maybe help without the fear. She did not want to go back to the old oncologist who was so certain that she would die, and had described how it would happen. She saw a really nice doctor, very kind and sympathetic, who told her they could help by draining the fluid.
Money However they wanted over 1 thousand euros for the job and she new she could get for free on the NHS. She said she heard my voice saying “Goddess up” and she faced her fears and went back to the original free hospital. Where she knew that the language they would use would scare her. She explained the situation, told them she did not want them to tell her she was dying, she did not want any tests, she just needed some relief from the fluid that had gathered in her belly.
The nursing staff were amazing, telling her how well she had done and that most people that had her operation were dead within 6 months. But they were super kind, interested and humane. They drained 5 litres of fluid off her belly and did more tests, but she said she wanted no more results. No more bad news, heavy words, terrifying points of view, fear is useless and damaging when you are weak.
She was miserable in hospital and desperate to get out, thinking that she would feel better the next day...... But the body has just had a massive trauma, so patience is essential here, our Sabrina does not have much of this. They warned her that the fluid could build again, but that it could balance out. Since then she has gradually got more and more miserable. The fluid has gathered again.
What to do? I suggested acupuncture. I posted on facebook asking for recommendations, Sabrina chose the first one, because he was a Doctor. Big mistake. He asked her who recommended her to come? She said me! He said don't listen to her, she is not a doctor, you should go to the hospital and get chemo. Sabrina was laughing as she told me, she hot footed it out of there and off back to the hospital. Hmmmm another interesting chapter for the book and movie.
Hospital They put her on a drip with some nutrition and she is feeling better than she has for weeks. She told me "my body is in hospital . my mind and heart and spirit are in the sun 3 vs 1 so that means I'm not truly here." She feels safe there and that makes me happy. One common misunderstanding most people make is that I am against everything allopathic. She said to me "I have done something you will not like". I said whats that? She said "I had a scan." I thought if a scan makes you feel better then do one. No judgement there from me, personal choices all the way. People love tests, I personally don't. But they have helped me in the past, never say never. And because I have been off the mountain with pain the last 2 weeks, I was pressured big time by everyone around me to go and get tests. But I knew my body would heal itself. But boy did the pressure mount as "days" went by. Impatience by everyone, are you better yet? You should go see a doctor. They know more than you. Then my 2 brothers got in on the act, saying how much happier they would be if I went to a doc. Now I am not stupid, and if I thought a doc would have helped me to heal, or if the pain was too much for me, I would have been at the doc in a heartbeat. I would take drugs to see me through if I believed I needed it. But I knew I didn't. I knew the body would heal itself. I went deep into my meditations, then had some acupuncture, and its much better now. My choice, my intuition, my understanding, back off. But imagine I was diagnosed terminal, how would that pressure have got to me. How would my faith have stood the force of others? Belittling my understandings because I am not a doctor. Very interesting situation.
Fear versus FAITH Our only fear of the hospital is that they use the language and say the things that induce fear. Cortisol and adrenaline are not needed at this point. And this is a scientific fact, so I have no idea why we still do this. She was offered catholic "bread" I am not really sure what that means, they also offered for her to see a minister. A nurse told her he was "cute" so she agreed. Plus she said it could be a good way of letting go, which is ultimately confessing and forgiving. We laughed last night as she told me that she was a sinner and he was not cute and did not really approve of that fact that she swore at God and hoped he was deaf because of the things she had been saying. Since studying with Dr Joe I have a completely different view of the body, healing, death and time. This is a very personal thing, but it has been a game changer for me. It allows me to "see" things very differently. I know from my life experience and from Dr Kelly Turners book Radical Remissions, that it is NEVER over until the fat lady sings. And even then Anita Moorjani came back and allowed her sick body to heal. www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhcJNJbRJ6U Faith. Faith even when all the Doctors point you to fear? Has my faith been challenged? Yes? Have I got caught up on the fear of others? Yes. Have I wavered and wondered if she can heal? Actually no. Faith heals and so does prayer. Please pray for her, for all of us who love this crazy, brave girl and are asking for the miracle. Or is it a miracle or a process, that each one of us can engage with? We are all entangled in this energy Field, and we can pull each other down or help each other up. Our words, thoughts, feelings, perceptions, beliefs, intentions and attention are creating our reality. Where we put our focus and attention is what we will get. But if we are weak and unable to hold that, we need others to support and help us. This is why we need to change the way we see disease and healing. Faith heals, let's all stay in it. She is back home now, they refused to drain the fluid again, Budwig have told her its normal so she is now looking for natural ways to assist the body again. What a shame they can not help with that in hospital.......one day! Please put her in your prayers, meditation and keep supporting her with your messages and word. It is priceless, thank you.
Bad Body – I don't like pain, I want to go snowboarding
So I had to go to bed on sunday. Had been having such fun on deep powder snow on sat and sun then around lunchtime on the sunday I felt this pain that had been a minor but annoying niggle for a few months, raise itcellf up a couple of notches, to a level I could no longer ignore. I suddenly felt wiped, had to sit down, half lying to ease the pain. Felt a bit breathless too, just wanted to go home and lie down. I got emotional too, felt quite sorry for mycellf, like a victim. Came back from the mountain, went straight to bed with a hot water bottle and stayed there till tuesday morning, 36 hours later. Slept on a off all day, the heat helped the pain but in the avo took some tylenol and that helped massively. I hate being sick. But what can you do when you are in such pain and cannot even think of anything else?
I watched mycellf. Lilia the patient. Lilia the big mouth healer. What do I teach and preach and how did I get on with walking my own walk?
A year ago I had a more laborious strategy for healing, before working with Dr Joe Dispenza.
BJ - Before Joe :)
The old way I had a 10 step healing plan and the first thing I would do would be to get my juicer out, clean the diet, do some yoga if possible, get fresh air and do some releasing and tapping. Make no mistake the old way of doing things worked, but they involve a lot of work, making changes, managing your time and a huge pile of keeping on keeping on. Avoiding going to certain places, releasing old habits, fresh air, grounding, exercising the list goes on. Getting people, including mycellf to follow this plan was a challenge to say the least. I was also really aware that a lot of my clients already had a terrifying prognosis, young children and were already suffering from overload and overwhelm. Me coming in with another list of things to do, could and would only make matters worse. More reasons to beat yourcellf up, more concepts that could actually harm instead of heal you?
The new way Last year I had to change tack with my healing. The way I had been programmed to believe healing would happen no longer had the same impact. The juicing was not having the same effect, dousing the inflammation that had been coming and going since my periods stopped. Then I heard that inflammation is almost impossible on the Ketogenic diet, so went on that. The total opposite from my mainly vegan fayre, and I struggled, but it worked. That was an eye opener, I know one diet does not fit all, but I thought I knew what to do when my body was struggling. Things change and it is essential to keep your mind open. Release all concepts and labels. Everyday. Be careful what info you are taking in, it's probably based on the old way to see the body and the World and the last thing any of us need is more limiting beliefs and concepts. Again it seemed like a minefield of conflicting information, who and what is right? Then I found Joe.
Seek and ye shall find?
I knew there had to be a way, just had to be a way, that I could help these young mums without driving them over the edge. Then I found Joe.
My silent question on a daily basis was "show me a way to help this beautiful young women". I knew there was a way, I just did not know what it was......... Then I found Joe.
He simplified it for me. 1 thing to do. But you MUST do it. And he has the science to prove it. His students are experiencing real time healings. His work is spreading like wildfire and is the way ahead for me and my clients and anyone with an open mind and willingness to try. NB Learn this while you are still well!
Put simply.... The body is made of light and information. The cells are the container for this. Change requires 3 intentions.
Clear out the past - move out the way, stop holding on
Design your future consciously from your heart - laser sharp clarity
Connect to the Quantum Field intelligence for assistance
Out with the old, in with the new. Clear out the old information and put in new information along with bringing in more light, which raises your vibration.
Disease cannot exist in these high vibrations Disease is a lowering of vibration. This problem I am experiencing is a valve between the large and small intestine that has got inflamed. Turns out this is what has caused all my symptoms for decades. I won't bore you with the details, but I do have a different understanding of it now.
So the old way included
Poor me, I am a victim
Trying to figure it all out, what is the body doing, why, when and where blah blah blah.
Going to the Doctor to get it checked and if possible get a label or concept to go with it. Then probably a prescription to make the body heal.
Follow my own 10 step healing plan.
Wish things were different and just generally complain about being sick. Discuss and complain about every symptom.
Feel like a patient, like something is wrong, behave differently and get treated differently.
Guess what the body is doing, fill yourcellf with fear and make things worse.
Judging and seeing the body as a separate entity that does things despite you. That is is against you. Bad body :)
And let me be brutally honest I did or thought about all of that. There is a technique to close the valve that is apparently causing my pain, but it did not seem to work. I swore at my body for not doing what I wanted, then I woke up. What are you doing? Break the habit of being yourcellf, you know of a much better way now... And did I just get this pain to see if I could put my money where my big mouth is? Was I put in the position of patient to give me a clearer understanding of the shoe on the other foot? Another guess, who knows......
The new way – Forget all of that Let go of the past and redesign the Future
Change your internal frequency, chemisty and electromagetic field using the power of your mind. Heal by thought alone. Think and feel yourcellf well. Let go of fear and move into total trust, FAITH, because that is what heals. Tune into the potential in the Field by changing your frequencies and connecting to the Universal Field.
The Quantum Field of potential and probabilities.
Go shopping in the Field for the exact health picture you want. Pain free, energetic, flexible, loving, joyful body please.
Step into the unknown and get very comfortable there. No trying to figure it out, wishing it was different, guessing what the body is doing and why. No need to know the name of a muscle or bone or jack shit. Every human can do this regardless of anything. Change the frequency of your brain, your electro magnetic field, connect with the Divine and allow the Universal intelligence combined with your clear intention and elevated emotion to heal you. This work encompasses the Sedona Method, a transformational tool I have banged on about for 15 years and was happy to see in Joes work.
If health and healing is what you want then get into your Meditation, let go of the past, design with your mind the new pain free, flexible, vibrant, healed you.
Whatever you want the process is identical. Wash the past away and focus and feel what you want in.
You can overide the chemistry of food, exercise, fresh air, Nature, the works when you get good at this.
Be your own alchemist You can be an alchemist that can literally transform the light and information in the cells. But only you can do it. No one can do it for you. To move into Faith, the light, the truth takes an open mind and often an attitude of I have nothing to lose and I am willing to look.
Healing happens, the particles rearrange themcellves, your job is to move out the way. What a huge relief that is. You shut up, stop tormenting the body, let go of the past and all the BS concepts and labels and send the body the information it needs to heal. Allow the Divine energy to flow and make itcellf known to you.
Our own personal Pharmacist and Alchemist We are the Pilots of our pineal gland, which contains our own inner pharmacy with the capacity to create any “chemical” we need. We just need to learn how. This allows us to experience the oneness. To fully know that we are not alone and we are protected and loved. We are all connected. There is nothing to fear ever when you release all your limiting beliefs and fear. You will quite literally “see” another way to be.
“Heaven” on Earth. Seeing the light, because the higher frequencies are lighter. 5th Dimension Enlightenment Born again Whatever you want to call it is fine, what resonates with you. But we are moving to a new way of being. And it is wayyyyyyyy more fun.
Multi Dimensions We are multi dimensional beings, living in a multi dimensional Universe. Death, time and things are all illusions, cool game eh? When we let go of all the concepts of what we should and should not do, eat, preach, believe, work, exercise and so on we can heal. Effortlessly, with faith.
The Church I have been studying a church course here in Golden because I wanted to support a friend who lost her husband at new year. I thought I was there out of the goodness of my heart, ego still yakking away, imagine my total surprise to hear the identical words of my Dr Joe. The minister explains the exact same phenomena. Is that a coincedence? I am in London in October 2016 with Dr Joe Dispenza and he opens my mind to the Mystical. Then I come to Canada and in February 2017 I hear exactly the same messages from a Minister?
I have been seeking, did I just find? I think so. Off to Meditate and do the Sedona Method at the same time. CHANGE Time to let go of all the old concepts of healing, and remember I am an energy spaceship that is 100% unlimited. Still to get my Pineal Pilots license, but I am open to the possibility in the Field of Potential.
If you want to learn the new way, pm me for a free consultation.